YOU POOK - A Birthday Story

Discussion in 'BS Forum' started by abyzmul, Sep 1, 2015.

  1. abyzmul

    abyzmul R.J. MacReady, 2018 Funniest Member Award Winner

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    29 was still a birthday year for me. I think birthdays disappeared about 36.

    You'll definitely celebrate when your insurance rates drop next year.
     
    101GangGreen101 likes this.
  2. abyzmul

    abyzmul R.J. MacReady, 2018 Funniest Member Award Winner

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    I punched your birthday gift and shit and Turkish blood squirted out.
     
  3. abyzmul

    abyzmul R.J. MacReady, 2018 Funniest Member Award Winner

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    Thank you. Is that supposed to say TULSA? If so, I feel your pain.
     
  4. Faux machine

    Faux machine Well-Known Member

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    20 years ago the company I was working for sent me to Saudi Arabia on special assignment. The food didn't really agree with me during my first week so I ducked into some god awful latrine to take a dump before I pooped my pants. Wouldn't ya know it, there was no toilet paper in there. So I wiped my ass with my hand and was on my way to to sink to wash it off when some fresh faced American chump puked all over my new shirt. I popped him a good one with the poop hand. I think I even got some in his mouth. There we were rolling around in this hell hole fighting covered in pile and shit.

    After all this time I don't think I would change anything.
     
    JetsVilma28, 74 and abyzmul like this.
  5. RuJFan

    RuJFan Well-Known Member

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    LOL
    No, there's no spelling error. It's Tula.
    51st Airborn.... USSR :)
     
  6. abyzmul

    abyzmul R.J. MacReady, 2018 Funniest Member Award Winner

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    If that's true, I feel for you. That's like landing on the moon.

    But I bet you got a much better welcome by the locals than you were expecting. :)
     
  7. xxedge72x

    xxedge72x 2018 Gang Green QB Guru Award Winner

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    Byz... that's deep. You're a true philosopher and worldly man, friend.

    Happy birthday.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. Brook!

    Brook! Soft Admin...2018 Friendliest Member Award Winner

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    Happy birthday byz.
     
  9. abyzmul

    abyzmul R.J. MacReady, 2018 Funniest Member Award Winner

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    This seems so sincere, and yet I know you are angling to take me down, bro. Those candle are so angry. Don't make me pull my blade, motherfucker!

    Btw I don't know what you have been using as your avatar all these years, but it gives me a soft dongle.
     
  10. abyzmul

    abyzmul R.J. MacReady, 2018 Funniest Member Award Winner

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    Thanks. It's not really my birthday, though. Just the day of the year I choose to lambast the Turkish people.
     
    Brook! likes this.
  11. Brook!

    Brook! Soft Admin...2018 Friendliest Member Award Winner

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    Lambast them for me too :)
     
  12. abyzmul

    abyzmul R.J. MacReady, 2018 Funniest Member Award Winner

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    If they had a collective penis, they couldn't fuck a goat correctly.
     
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  13. xxedge72x

    xxedge72x 2018 Gang Green QB Guru Award Winner

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    I've got an album of vintage porn with your name written all over it.
     
  14. JStokes

    JStokes Well-Known Member

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    Not a thing?



































    :D

    Great story dude.

    _
     
  15. JStokes

    JStokes Well-Known Member

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    Hot damn I love diarrhea.

    Well, my own, not anyone else's.

    _
     
  16. JStokes

    JStokes Well-Known Member

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    When you woke up, do you remember seeing God?

    I know you're not a neurologist or a scientist, but if you saw God whilst you were asleep, that may be more evidence that a Holy Roman Catholic God exists.

    Somebody could chronicle it and post it here.

    _
     
  17. abyzmul

    abyzmul R.J. MacReady, 2018 Funniest Member Award Winner

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    Dang, bro, I know I'm stoned, but this crop of literary choda is unrecognizable to me.
     
  18. JetsHuskers fan

    JetsHuskers fan Well-Known Member

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    Happy birthday.




    Where did you hate more, Nebraska or Saudi Arabia?
     
  19. abyzmul

    abyzmul R.J. MacReady, 2018 Funniest Member Award Winner

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    Thanks.

    And enough with the happy birthday shit.

    The answer to your question is probably Saudi. But only because it was harsh in a short term, like being on the rack. Omaha was like the Chinese water torture.
     
  20. The Waterboy

    The Waterboy Well-Known Member

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    Just as long as you use the heroin in moderation you should be ok, don't worry it is common to puke on your first try.
     
    NYJalltheway likes this.

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