Worst Worker Excuses

Discussion in 'BS Forum' started by The Waterboy, Nov 12, 2020.

  1. The Waterboy

    The Waterboy Well-Known Member

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    Wasn't going to start a new thread for this but couldn't find a good thread to put it in.

    So one of my assistants just texted me that she would not make it in tomorrow due to morning sickness. I not only have pregnant assistants, I now have psychic pregnant assistants. This assistant, I was told by my other workers, claimed she was pregnant last year but never looked like it. She also let me know last week that she may not be back from Thanksgiving break on time due to a funeral.

    So what is the worst excuse you have heard for being out? Maybe a few threads like this is needed to get us out of the election threads.
     
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  2. Brook!

    Brook! 2018 Friendliest Member Award Winner
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    Awesome thread.

    One of my young one texted me and said she had to leave because her friend had a blood vessel pop in her eye and she had to take her to hospital. Not sure if true but she is a reliable worker so maybe true.
     
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  3. FJF

    FJF 2018 MVP Joe Namath Award Winner

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    I always love being told “sorry I’m late forgot to set the clock back”
    I mean if that was true you should’ve been early.

    The ones that roll in 30 minutes late with a fresh Dunkin cup get all my respect.

    true story, I had a welder working for me at a shop I was running in Jax. Dude was a soldier, limps in to work one day and asks if I had anything really important he needed before he goes to the hospital. His words- caught a bullet in the calf last nite, looks like it went through but want to get it checked out anyway. Rolled up his sweats and there was a bandaged up bullet wound. He was going to catch the bus but I drove him.
     
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  4. stinkyB

    stinkyB 2009 Best Avatar Award Winner

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    I hate when that happens
     
  5. FJF

    FJF 2018 MVP Joe Namath Award Winner

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    Right, I mean ,if I had a nickel for every time......
     
  6. The Waterboy

    The Waterboy Well-Known Member

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    Not a terrible excuse but another assistant called in a couple of weeks ago and said she couldn't get her car started. She said she would try to get a jump to make it in so I offered to swing by and give her a jump, she then decided she needed a new battery.
     
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  7. FJF

    FJF 2018 MVP Joe Namath Award Winner

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    In other words, she was lying.
     
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  8. Faux machine

    Faux machine Well-Known Member

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    Dick hard pills came out as a product when I was in high school and I called into work claiming to have a priapism.

    mods: why is vi4gra a banned word?
     
  9. Brook!

    Brook! 2018 Friendliest Member Award Winner
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    @Petrozza can explain better but it has to do with Google sense. Ads don't play or something
     
  10. Jonathan_Vilma

    Jonathan_Vilma Well-Known Member

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    On that note I had a coworker way back when I had my first job and he was using a table saw. He sawed off the end of his thumb by accident and probably had a chance of saving it/having it sewed back on without feeling at the very least. He didn't want to punch out and miss any time. So he went after work and now doesn't have a thumb.

    He wore a cowboy hard hat and a bathing suit with a Ginny tee/work boots every day. A real trooper.
     
    #10 Jonathan_Vilma, Nov 20, 2020 at 1:00 PM
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2020 at 2:07 PM
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  11. stinkyB

    stinkyB 2009 Best Avatar Award Winner

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    I actually chopped off the tip of my thumb on the tablesaw.... wasnt the best day.
     
  12. The Waterboy

    The Waterboy Well-Known Member

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    Oh dear me, why did I ever start this thread.

    I have been informed by a brilliant mind on this board that I must be angry and bitter because my employees make up excuses not to come to work. Something tells me the person who informed me has not had to supervise any employees while he flips burgers.
     
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  13. Dierking

    Dierking Well-Known Member

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    Ima get paid
     
  14. JackBower

    JackBower Well-Known Member

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    I worked with someone (i work in a different department now) called out sick an entire week... and told my other co worker he broke up with his girlfriend.

    Also same co worker, he learned we were getting a new boss and he stared into space for 5 minutes before he left for the day suddenly at 2.

    Last one is not an excuse, it was just hilarious to witness.
     
  15. abyzmul

    abyzmul R.J. MacReady, 21018 Funniest Member Award Winner

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    I don't think this really qualifies as "worst" in the spirit of the thread, but it's the worst in my mind...

    Fucking migraines. It's like the work excuse tailor-designed for the lazy 20-something female. They can even use it to justify FMLA and there's no way to fully prove the symptoms.
     
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  16. Greenday4537

    Greenday4537 Well-Known Member

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    LOL I have a co-worker who always gets migraines when she doesn't want to go to work.

    I'd blame my acid reflux and people would joke about my stomach problems. Then when my co-worker was driving me to Wawa which is just 2 miles from the lab, my acid reflux kicked in and I told him that I'd try to make it to Wawa before throwing up. Didn't make it, made him pull over and puked just outside the car. No one ever said a word about me faking it again.

    My aunt wanted a 3 day weekend the other weekend so when she got in, she said her stomach hurt but would try to stick it out. Her boss told her to go home but she wanted to act like she wasn't just trying to go home early. Then she was like, "Yea, I think I have a headache too and a cough." Someone from corporate just happened to be there and told her she had to go home and couldn't come back until she got a negative covid test and that she had to use sick leave while not at work. My aunt was so pissed.
     
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  17. Jonathan_Vilma

    Jonathan_Vilma Well-Known Member

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    So your aunt tried to con her way into free time off and got caught and had to pay the consequences?
     
  18. Greenday4537

    Greenday4537 Well-Known Member

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    No, she got a covid test, tested negative, and didn't have to use time off except for the day she was trying to take off. Just meant she didn't get to enjoy it.
     
  19. IDFjet

    IDFjet Well-Known Member

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    Are you like Mel from the diner?
     
  20. The Waterboy

    The Waterboy Well-Known Member

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    My name is Flo, I bought the diner from Mel
     
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