Dear Jerry Jones, This post is not meant to be a cry for change or a plea for reason, because I am not a Cowboys fan and I do truly enjoy watching your football team fall on its face. This is only meant to be a communication of utter hatred. I want it to be out there in the ether, just in case you happen, in a rare moment of self-doubt, to Google "I hate Jerry Jones... you may see this among the veritable ocean of similar search results. Because I hate you. I also hate the Cowboys, but mostly because of you. You are a disgusting human being, Jerry. Normally when I say that about someone, there is exaggeration and embellishment happening. I don't need either of those things with you. With you and your 56-facelift-having shortstop mitt of a face, your cellphone videos of 20 year old co-eds giving you a tug in the elevator, your gaudy fake art gallery in your ridiculous stadium that you gave to your cuckold wife after your elevator video came out. And the mega yacht you named after her. I enjoy the fact that every first round draft pick you take walks through those doors sniffing how great their armpits smell and thinking they already belong in the vaunted Cowboys "Ring of Honor". They act like that right up until you cut or trade them 4 years later. Remember Taco Charlton? Bahaha! Most of all though I hate that I am stuck watching your dumb team full of players that look like they should be in Jet magazine rather than an NFL field because they're never too far from a pose, they're draped in ice and platinum, they are always very aware of cameras and they always get too much coverage. I hate the fact that I am constantly exposed to Cowboys history. I hate that I even know who Babe Laufenberg is, that guy sucks. At least you make it entertaining for someone that hates you. Your endless drunken soundbites, GLORY HOLE, JERRY! YOU REALLY WANT SOME!!!! Well, if you get your way then Goodell will find some method to cheat you into the Super Bowl again someday before you die, like Tagliabue did for that vulture Al Davis. Hopefully your team can't get it done with a gimme game SB handed to them because you poison their culture so thoroughly that they never really seem to have much heart, unless they're playing division games. It's always fun to see a division of teams with no wins battle it out! That's a battle the Cowboys always seem to win! That said, it's all good, Jerry. You may be a financial genius, but you have repeatedly proven to be an imbecile when it comes to building a winning football team. Your son is trying to right that ship but you just can never help pouring a giant flop of your ample ego all over the top of their work to turn it on its head. I'm not fooling myself. This is a world run by rich old white men and you are gonna buy you some glory hole someday. That's how it works for you fellas. But, since it's not yet illegal for me to publicly state the truth about, this thread now exists for that sole and continued purpose. Eat a dick, Jerry Jones.
Jerry's super swindle of La'el Collins, stealing a first round guard for pennies on the dollar, seemed to work up until recently when La'el was apparently discovered attempting to bribe the official that was collecting his urine sample. Glory hole.
Ugh. Those poor Cowboys. Dallas Cowboys not pleased with officials after loss to Arizona Cardinals: 'Wouldn't let us get a rhythm' https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id...ials-loss-arizona-cardinals-let-us-get-rhythm