Pre-Paid Cremation/Funeral Plans

Discussion in 'BS Forum' started by The Waterboy, Jul 10, 2017.

  1. Jonathan_Vilma

    Jonathan_Vilma Well-Known Member

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    It probably would've been much cheaper for Uncle Larry to toss you in the F-150 and drive you down to the cremation place, no? Could've saved yourself $1,800 dude.
     
  2. The Waterboy

    The Waterboy Well-Known Member

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    Pretty sure hospital won't just release you to uncle Harry if you happen to be there. What if i am in texas, utah, oregon, belize? The cost for pick up and transportation could easily be over $1800, not to mention my kids having to deal with all that after i just died. I would rather pay a little more and know my daughter only needs to make one call.

    What is your plan?
     
  3. jilozzo

    jilozzo Well-Known Member

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    hmmmm...not a bad college job - transporting stiffs for cremation.
     
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  4. Sam Hammer

    Sam Hammer Well-Known Member

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    The only thing I don't like about that many companies won't tell you that, then when a family member gets "your" ashes, it's really a big mix or vice versa, one of those pet owners could ask to keep the ashes and some of yours go along for the ride. If you're just having them spread in the ocean and don't care anyways, it's no big deal. Some companies are better than others.
     
    #24 Sam Hammer, Jul 16, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2017
  5. The Waterboy

    The Waterboy Well-Known Member

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    It's actually against the law to cremate more than one person at a time in one cremation chamber, there might be a minute amount of another's ashes left in the chamber when you go in but very minimal.

    It wouldn't bother me either way but it's not something to have to worry about.
     
  6. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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  7. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    There was a huge case up by me years ago. Fairly "reliable" funeral home threw a guy naked in a garbage bag in his coffin and had charged the family thousands. They didn't even put a suit on the guy. Obviously.
     
  8. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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  9. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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  10. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    Totally not. I love the macabre. They don't call me hanging on a gibbet for nothing.
     
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  11. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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  12. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    In truth, I live for boneyards. It's a huge part of my art.
     
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  13. The Waterboy

    The Waterboy Well-Known Member

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  14. The Waterboy

    The Waterboy Well-Known Member

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  15. Jonathan_Vilma

    Jonathan_Vilma Well-Known Member

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    Haha. I was just messing with you, bub. Haven't given it an ounce of thought. I'm only 25. I'm just praying there's some sort of social security money left for me by the time I want to retire. Doubt there will be though!
     
  16. The Waterboy

    The Waterboy Well-Known Member

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    Your reply didn't bother me, didn't mean for it to sound that way, I started the thread for everyone's opinion. I had thought about what you mentioned before signing up, the $800 cremations looked like a good deal, but I just wanted the package deal so nothing is left to chance.
    I'm in my 50s and I'm not sure social security will last for me so big changes need to be done to last for you. One plus is the birth rate has come down by about 50% since 1960 or so, the number of retiring should slow down soon. Of course there are less paying in but I guess we'll just have to see what happens.
     
  17. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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  18. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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  19. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    @The Waterboy: this was well over a year ago and I kept forgetting to come back and post in here. Oh, my God, I went on a tear. I was on the phone every day for hours for a week. Let me just preface this by saying that dealing with the funeral industry is like buying a used car. They're all shysters. If I fully suspected it before I was fully convinced after.

    All of them use the same crematoriums around here and the prices that I got for the most basic of the basic - we're talkin 5 stick manual without power windows type thing - varied by literally thousands of dollars.

    Now of course I love black humor and gallows humor is my favourite. I revel in the macabre, and I really went to town with it. Meaning sometimes I couldn't hold it in and I would just start shrieking, and other times I was able to keep it together and deal with either stunned silence or who was going to crack first.

    What you need to do is back them into a corner and force them to itemize everything that is part of their packages. For instance, one Funeral Home that I spoke to - and I spoke to roughly 12 of them by the time I was finished - I noticed that the "cremation tray", which was part of the price . . . yet it wasn't . . . was $695 (!). So I said, "Wait a second. $695 for a cardboard box that I can buy on Uline for $10 bucks?! Can I provide my own double-walled corrugated box? How about a burlap sack?" "Yes. In that case, that comes off. You have to watch out about shrouds and sacks, though, because some crematoriums won't accept them."

    Dog has to go out, but I'll come back to it, I promise. I won't leave you in suspense like the airport thread. It's such a crock of shit. I have to read back, too, because I want to see if I'm getting set on fire for less money than you!
     
  20. The Waterboy

    The Waterboy Well-Known Member

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    I'm glad you bumped this because I saw something the other day which I wish I had known about before. Cremation hourglass, put your ashes in one and on game night the family can pull you out and it's like you never left.
    [​IMG]
     

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