That resonated. I recall posting this story years ago, but we had a serial eater on the job. One time I took a bite out of an ice-cream sandwich as an experiment and put it back in the freezer. You guessed it. Haha, I should try to find it. There was cursing involved.
Figured as much, if he did leave he'd just come back in a few months as if nothing happened anyway. He had already edited his "I'm leaving" post so he was ahead of things this time around.
What’s the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush
A married couple down on their luck decides to make a few extra bucks by reluctantly having the wife work the corner. After the first day the husband picks her up and asks "how did you do?". She says, "I did pretty well, I made $200.50". He asks, "What asshole gave you 50 cents?" and she replies "all of them". My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day when she looked at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies." So I fucked her in the ass, pulled out, and came all over her face and hair. I guess we don't watch the same movies. I used to be a sadistic necrophiliac with a penchant for bestiality, but I realized I was just beating a dead horse. Two homeless men are standing around bragging about their day. The First hobo says "Today i found $20, and was able to buy a nice hot meal. It was my luckiest day ever!". To which the second hobo replies: "oh yeah, my day was way better! I was at the train yard, and found a woman tied to the train tracks. After I untied her, we fucked all day" "Did you get a blow job?" "Naw, I couldnt find her head" An elementary school teacher, a lawyer, a Catholic priest and three young boys are on a plane with only three parachutes. Engines explode, plane starts going down. The teacher says, 'Save the children!' The lawyer yells, 'FUCK THE CHILDREN!' The Catholic priest looks around and whispers, 'Is there time?' A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".
