'The Wailing'. What a flick. Sooooo many excellent movies come out of South Korea. This movie is so worth a watch.
Eh, 'Winchester', what a disappointment. A story with so much potential gone to waste. Even Helen Mirren couldn't save it. It wasn't good enough to be good, and and it wasn't schlocky enough to be great. Don't flush your money. I never do. I always watch for free unless I really want to see something that has to be seen on the big screen. I'll be checking out 'Black Panther'. I pretty much piss on and hate super hero movies (mostly because of the lack and failure of ORIGINAL IDEAS), but it has so much good buzz, I'll take the plunge. BTW, I hated 'Wonder Woman' on so many levels. It was as gay and ridiculous as the day is long but not gay and ridiculous enough for me to like it. No, I didn't pay to see it. OK, so a friend of mine and I were cracking up the other day about a made for TV "horror" laugher that we remembered: 'Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell'. Well, it wasn't meant to be a laugher, but it is goddamned hilarious. Starring Richard Crenna, Kim Richards, and an idiot toothy teenager with idiot pants on that plays Kim Richards' brother (I recognize his stupid face from some other made for TV movies that I'll remember at 3 in the morning). A bunch of Satanists channel Satan into a German Shepherd so they can wreak havoc on the who knows what. Kim Richards' dog gets run over during her 10th birthday party (meanwhile back at the ranch, she's more like 15 yrs. old in the movie). Her Dad (Crenna) finds the dog (bad taxidermy example) dead in the road, Kim Richards runs out and is all why, why, why. She picks out a puppy from a litter that is being given away for free at the grocery store (as in possibly 10 minutes after her beloved dog gets mowed down), but it's from the litter of Devil Dogs begotten with pups from Satan himself from the ritual (I have a hysterical story about that stupid Hostess Cake monstrosity by the by, and yes, it involves a German Shepherd - more to come). So anyway, she takes home this GS puppy that is cute as a button and it stares - with a SATANIC STARE. Meaning it doesn't. It's just cute as a button. The dog grows up and occasionally stares at the wind, but is not evil looking at all. Once in a while, his eyes beam fake nonsense. Richards and Idiot Pants Brother become possessed by the Devil Dog and the Satanists. Their stupid Netherlandish accented mother who is a terrible actress starts having affairs and acting out sexually, and prior to that, Crenna just barely stops himself from cutting his hand off in the blades of a cheap push lawn-mower. "It's that dog. It was staring at me." Some shit like that. If you enjoy cheese factories, THIS MOVIE IS SO WORTH YOUR TIME. I swear, I'm gonna track it down and re-watch just so I can laugh myself to death.
"OK, kids, today we are going to learn about nutrition. I am your new teacher, Count Chocula." "My Mom says that Count Chocula is not very nutritious. It's full of sugar and fake marshmallows. It's bad for you."
'The Babadook' - I liked it. A lot of holes, but it's fun. 'Sinister' with Ethan Hawke - it had its moments. RIP, Fred Thompson. 'GOODNIGHT MOMMY'. I would say it one ups 'The Other', but then I'd give it away. ; )
The Loved Ones - if you're ever in the mood for painful reminders of bad boyfriends who treated you like crap. High Tension - if you're ever in the mood for watching a pretty girl get off, go on a lesbian sexually repressed murderous rampage, go braless in a T-shirt throughout the whole movie, and then try to kill the object of her affection with a table saw, you'll like it. Gory with a laughable plot hole (I grudgingly excused it), but I liked it. Horror flicks are what they are and they range the full spectrum. What I can't stand is rape and torture that's considered part of the horror genre just for the sake of rape and torture. I hate that. It happens to real people and it really upsets me. Not a fan of that trope. I don't want to be disgusted and nauseated and be reminded how sick some people are with no explanation. 'I Spit on Your Grave' - I almost vomited.I want to be entertained, laugh, and occasionally - yeah, actually get scared. Oh, by the way, I named my rescue dog Henry after Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. J/K.
Now that's what I'm talking about! I can't tell you how loud and how hard we laughed. Awesome. EDIT & P.S.: Please note that there's nothing in her glove compartment. "License and registration, please." "Um. . . ."
I said I was Fulci fan. No-one believed me! 'The House ... BY THE CEMETEREHHHHH!' Anyone remember that commercial? Probably not. I saw an installment of 'The Gates of Hell' a/k/a 'City of the Living Dead' (it's an Italian trilogy, horribly dubbed - that's partly why I loved it - it was like watching 'Godzilla'). 17, saw it in the theatre and we were laughing so hard, we were SCREAMING. That idiot kid runs down the street to jungle sounds - in either Italy or Troy, NY. Probably both. We were dying. I can't even believe it made its way to American theatres, but we were on it, as always. The best part is when the priest is sitting in the car and all of these guts and animal offal crap spew out of his mouth through a pair of wooden dentures in quasi slow motion. "His teeth! Look at his teeth! They're made of Popsicle sticks!" More screaming ensued.
I don't get truly scared at many films, but the nun in The Conjuring 2 did freak me out. Pretty scary. Just saw this new teaser poster from the spinoff movie "The Nun" coming out in September. Hopefully I can sleep tonight.
^'The Magdalene Sisters' is ten times more scary than that will ever be, you idiot! -Signed, -Mrs. championjets69
I've haven't gotten around to that but maybe this will jump start me. There are some really good movies from S. Korea that I've enjoyed I also picked up a couple of dvd's of the old Hammer films that I didn't get around to. So much crap to sort through on NF and Amazon that I waste time with
'Ravenous'. Holy Crap, I love this movie. It's gotten even better with age, and I enjoy it more and more every time I see it.I brought up this film several years ago. It's VERY loosely based on the Donner party. At the time of its release, most critics totally panned it (idiots), and a handful of others totally loved it. It didn't do particularly well at the box office, mostly because people thought it was too weird. Mexican-American War, main character (a Captain and coward) gets 'assigned' to a remote outpost (read banished) with a few other military misfits. Cannibalism, Native American spirit legends (Wendigo), subtle pokes and jabs at Christianity re: indigenous beliefs, gore, and black humor, how could you go wrong? Antonia Bird (the director, now deceased) had a really tough time getting the film made, but Robert Carlyle really believed in the project, had her back, pushed hard for her, and it made it to celluloid (thank you, Robert). Filmed in the Carpathian Mountains in the Czech Republic. See it for the soundtrack alone. It's amazing. I mean it. Too bad in real life Jeffrey Jones is a pedo, because I used to like him. Can't win 'em all. "Because it's wrong." "Ah, cowardice, the last bastion of morality." I love that. "It was tough, but then, uh, a good solder ought to be." <== They ate Major Knox, haha. I watch 'Ravenous' probably around every other year along with 'The Thing' (1982). Two staples in my DVD library. Do yourself a favor and rent it. You're welcome.
'Village of the Damned', it's the same child actor from 'The Innocents', which I also already mentioned the plot of that movie was totally ripped off for 'The Others'. Haha, don't ever watch the remake of 'Village of the Damned' with Kirstie Alley. Save yourselves! It's not nearly bad enough to be good, and the fact that she's a Scientology freak IDIOT makes it even funnier.
'Ghost Story' with Alice Krige. Mark, my childhood horror movie partner in crime. That movie scared the crap out of us on some level. The most horrific part was seeing a penis flopping around in the wind after the owner of said penis got pushed through a skyscraper window by a ghost hell bent on revenge. Of course we laughed at that part; but "Kiss me, you little toad", ooof. Mark drove me home and called me when he made it to his house, expecting to see Alma on a back road. He sprinted like hell up his driveway, haha. Yes, we loved being scared. I love being scared. Keeps me alive. I'll try to find a clip. There ya go.
'Veronica'. The usual cliches - a seance, fooling around with a Ouija Board, inviting something bad by accident, a solar eclipse, a blind nun, etc.; but I liked it. A little slow moving sometimes and I wish there was more background about the father and family dynamics and such but it was pretty OK enjoyable (don't get sucked in the by the hype). One of the guys who who did 'REC' made it (I liked the first installment/original the best). The demon was pretty frightening in that flick, even by my standards. I recommend both. EDIT & P.S.: 'Raw'. It's one of those films that I can't really say I 'liked', but I liked it. Many disturbing and uncomfortable scenes, but give it a whirl. A vegetarian's dream!
I absolutely adore this short horror gem. I love it. It speaks to me so much. A dying old woman with a Book of Shadows and the woods, which my soul, such as it is, would whither and die without. Trust me when I tell you that fields and woods often have a distinct 'personality', but more so the woods, especially the canopy itself. I've been on some very bad ground. Laugh all you like. So yeah, anyway, fukk that bully. What a cunt. \\ EDIT & P.S.: The only criticism that I have about this film is the he didn't say his incantation three times.
