Can anyone please help?

Discussion in 'BS Forum' started by JerzeJets, Jan 9, 2021.

  1. JerzeJets

    JerzeJets Active Member

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    Oh we are! It breaks down like this...

    1200 total due across both our balances
    900 is private
    300 is federal

    We are trying best we can to come up with 1 to 2 hundred a month to keep paying the federal balance down. And unfortunately there is nothing I can do about the 900 private.
     
  2. westiedog1

    westiedog1 Well-Known Member

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    Oh, okay, I see.
     
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  3. DMarsh6

    DMarsh6 Active Member

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    I graduated with over 200k in student loan debt that I paid off in about 5 years. How? Sacrifice. I was working two jobs and living off of about $50 a week to do what I wanted with. That money you're using to buy alcohol and smokes with? Student loans. Getting takeout? Nope, rice and beans for dinner. I would've LOVED to just have 60k. At the end of the day this was your decision and you have to live with it. I do not know why you think it's ok to go online and ask strangers to pay for your mistakes. Take some responsibility for your own actions and YOU do something about it. You are honestly asking for money so you can live your dream of starting a business and investing in real estate? Is this a joke? So you can take out another loan and whine how it failed here again for more money to pay that off? A lot of people are a lot worse off than you and sadly I think in the long run the people giving you money are doing you more harm than good. Hope you figure things out.
     
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  4. JerzeJets

    JerzeJets Active Member

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    I understand where you are coming from. And it's not just 60k, its 160k, but point still taken.

    Kudos to you for being able to pay it off, maybe you could share just how you were able to do that, you say sacrifice like it is so easy to just come up with a little extra and payoff 200k in 5 years, seems so simple?

    We've sacrificed just about everything we can, you make it seem like we are eating at 5 star restaurants and looking for money lol, we are eating pasta and sauce with an occasional rotisserie chicken cut up and put in if we're feeling "fancy". I did cut out the drinking and smoking and if you missed some of my subsequent posts I explained its not like daily drinking anyway where its a problem but yes I stopped and put it towards something else.

    I drive for doordash in my spare time, I take online surveys laying on bed late at night and revi ew products for a little extra change, ypu make it seem like I sit on my ass and not do anything about it.

    You think it's rewarding to ask for help? You think its prideful to ask for help as a 33 year old married guy? No, but in seeking out help to talk about this and get it figured out, I have been told to swallow that pride and let people who want to help be able to do so.

    Again kudos to you for being able to pay that off, even if I devoted every last penny outside of rent towards this it still wouldn't be done in 5 years with 160k so I appreciate you doing it with 200k by sacrificing, don't know what kind of job or income you have that you were able to do that but maybe just imagine for a second we don't have those means, but don't conflate that with we are just looking for handouts to get it done.
     
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  5. DMarsh6

    DMarsh6 Active Member

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    A quick Google search shows you had a wedding with a DJ a few months ago. Maybe you shouldn't have gotten married so quick if you were in such a financial burden? Things like that are the sacrifices I am referring to. Be a bartender, a waiter, learn new skills and get a better job. If two jobs aren't enough get a third. I was not making much out of college but my debt motivated me to get better and make more money. If it's an option and you can live with your parents for a year or so I would go that route. I'm no doctor or anything; just was a kid making stupid decisions and I paid for it then but I'm doing much better now because of it. It sucked at the time but i don't think I would be doing as well as I am now if I didn't have that burden to motivate me. A lot of people have student debt; some even much worse than you and without any job. I guess my question is why do you feel like you are special and should have strangers pay for your mistakes instead of fixing your problem yourself?
     
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  6. JerzeJets

    JerzeJets Active Member

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    I don't feel special or that others should pay for my problem. I'm doing plenty to try and help our situation.

    We simply asked for help because there were those willing to help.
     
  7. JerzeJets

    JerzeJets Active Member

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    Yea we had a wedding, we worked our butts off to pay for that wedding. We lived at home at that time because our parents said we could live there to save up for it. I wanted to get married at city hall but yea that wasn't going to fly. We had it as simply as we could. Now, we can't live at home anymore as a married couple that offer is off the table.

    Not everything is so black and white. Also the wedding was a year and a half ago, alot has changed in the world since then.

    Don't help if you don't want, trust me I understand, I'd have your views too if I were on your side of the coin.
     
  8. Ralebird

    Ralebird Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, you need to find that debt counselor to make sure the decisions you make are the right ones. You said something a couple of days ago about which loans you're paying and which you're putting off and it sounded like the ones you're not paying are the higher interest ones. That doesn't sound good. I might be wrong but those counselors will know. Depending on the type of work you each can do it might be that your wife is the one who should be doing the overtime or second job. The counselors will know. Good luck.
     
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  9. abyzmul

    abyzmul R.J. MacReady, 2018 Funniest Member Award Winner

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    Looks like the name of the gofundme organizer changed after you did your Google search.
     
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  10. HomeoftheJets

    HomeoftheJets Well-Known Member

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    @JerzeJets Do you have an explanation?
     
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  11. Brook!

    Brook! Soft Admin...2018 Friendliest Member Award Winner

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    Okay. Moving this thread back to BS Forum. Want to understand what's going on before I move it back here.
     
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  12. jettexas34

    jettexas34 Member

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    Jerzejets-

    3 pages in and God bless all those assisting with needed advice. This is not preaching, but I am honestly out of love sharing the best most fruitful, quickest way out of your misery:

    As you said at the end of your original post, you dont know what else to do but “humbly pray”. God has blessed you with a beautiful wife, which is worth more than any millions you might stumble upon. And he wants you to LIVE ABUNDANTLY.

    Turn to him in earnest prayer, seek him FIRST, then all these things will be added unto you. God never fails if you trust. One by one your troubles will dissipate, and a burden will be lifted. Just tell him you cant do this without him- you’re giving it to HIM to guide you.

    I don’t know your faith- I’m Catholic and I tell you the peace of Christ Jesus is amazing. I’m going through my own financial issues and life has NEVER BEEN BETTER.

    Remember why we are on this Earth- it’s not to make money. It’s to homor our Lord so we may be with him for eternity. This is a very short journey. Live it fir the ONE thing that really matters- your soul.

    Okay, call it “preaching”. I’m a sinner
    touched by your struggles and I pray for all of us. Keep up the good fight and live with love. In closing, read Matthew 7:7-11.

    Best wishes from Texas, brother.
     
  13. jilozzo

    jilozzo Well-Known Member

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    so is this a scam or what. not bring rude but......

    if not....the new administration will take care of you, no??
     
  14. Dierking

    Dierking Well-Known Member

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    Individuals can actually file under Chapter 11. Not common, but it does happen. Generally for people that aren't eligible under Chapter 7 and exceed the debt limits for Chapter 13.
     
  15. The Waterboy

    The Waterboy Well-Known Member

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    It doesn't seem like a scam, poster has been on this site for a while. Not terribly active but nothing that would make me think it's a scam except the comment about a name change. Though that could have been to just clarify if the original gofundme title was not descriptive enough.
     
  16. DMarsh6

    DMarsh6 Active Member

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    You said it yourself - to get what you want you had to work hard. Did you make a gofundme for your wedding too? It was also a little over a year ago, not a year and a half. The venue and DJ were also not very simple as you put it.

    It's most likely a scam or at the least someone being very dishonest. The reasons being:
    • They graduated from Kean college with a degree in meteorology which is about 12k a year today. 8 years ago when they graduated it would've been even less than that. That brings it to a total of 48k. To claim the debt is 60k they would've had to have paid close to nothing since graduating just accruing interest.
    • They have done a lot of traveling over the years according to their wedding website. Does someone who is depressed, worried about debt and short on money do a lot of traveling with their girlfriend/finance/wife who also has a lot of alleged debt?
    • They had their wedding here: https://www.southgatemanornj.com/ Does this look like some place where someone was trying to save money? They also hired an expensive DJ for this wedding.
    • Their gofundme has had what appears to be ZERO donations from friends/family. Seems to me like someone who was desperate would've shared this to their friends/family (who they appear to have a lot of based on their wedding details (https://www.theknot.com/us/ryan-grantuskas-and-nicole-malkiewicz-nov-2019#our-story). Do you really think that only 10 people would've donated if things were as bad as they are saying/it was shared elsewhere? Most if not all of their donations were probably from here.
    • Lastly of course, once called out they changed their name on their gofundme so no one else would be able to search and see this information
    Why did I dig so deeply? I paid $227,349.34 in student debt. It was one of the most trying times of my life but it was my mistake and I owned up to it. I sacrificed dating, going out, starting a family, etc. just so I could pay that debt off so I don't take it lightly at all. I also like to help people when I can but I know the internet is full of people looking to scam others so I like to trust but verify. I don't trust this person at all...I don't know why they went on the gang green to do this...it's a very odd thing to do. I feel bad for anyone who donated trying to help as I feel it's likely just someone trying to make some money off of others kindness.
     
  17. JackBower

    JackBower Well-Known Member

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    Well this is juicy.

    Im hesitant to donate at this point. But my advice here would be:

    - maybe don't pay your loan every month while you have the opportunity. My wife and i both have loans and we are choosing to save and pay later. I get that we are not in as bad debt as you are, but still if you're struggling to a point where you can't afford rent there's an obvious way to reallocate your money for bills without additional charges.

    -my first degree did nothing for me. I was a recruiter for 8 years, spent a ton of time of the road, and hated it. You may not like the sound of this, but go get a degree/certification in a profitable field like health care or IT. I went back to school for IT at 30 and im already making way more than i did my first 8 years out of college #1. A lot of your credits may transfer also so an associate's degree may only require 1 year.

    Its not just about working hard, but smart. If you do the same thing over and over and over, you're going to be in the same place.

    Edit: im not going to Dmarsh level and questioning all your life decisions, your numbers are a little odd for your loans. Having 60k in debt for a normal 4 yr college tells me you never paid your loans at all as you would have graduated over 10 years ago being 33 yrs old. I find it unlikely you decided to go to school later in life for a Metrology degree, especially if there are financial struggles. When we graduated we had about 55k/100+k in debt respectively but it's down to 30/40 from just paying the required amount. So if you were paying on an IDR id expect it to be much lower if you've been paying throughout.

    If this is a sham or not, whatever money you get will be very temporary relief and you'll have to make some changes which will most likely cost more money until you see the benefits.
     
    #57 JackBower, Jan 17, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2021
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  18. HomeoftheJets

    HomeoftheJets Well-Known Member

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    @JerzeJets These are some pretty serious allegations. You've also been posting on this thread almost every day, so if we don't hear from you, people are going to assume these allegations are true and you're ghosting us. In which case there's a very good chance at least one poster will report you to GoFundMe as a scammer. So unless these allegations are untrue, in which case you should defend yourself here, I strongly recommend you apologize and refund us.
     
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  19. JackBower

    JackBower Well-Known Member

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    Ok im going down the rabbit hole. This is sort of expected if you ask strangers for money so i don't feel like this is an invasion:

    - the wife is an Eagles fan

    - marriage was 11/2019, so yr and almost 2 months.

    - no LinkedIn?

    Fam time but there's more to find.
     
    #59 JackBower, Jan 17, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2021
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  20. DMarsh6

    DMarsh6 Active Member

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    I'm pretty deep in the rabbit hole. I'm pretty pissed off at this guy. To me the smoking gun is his wifes instagram which has her receiving nice gifts from him (Kay necklaces, broadway tickets, etc.) and also posting on Instagram in May 2018 the following of her graduation:

    So the wife has at least two degrees including a masters and wants MORE degrees with allegedly having 100k in debt and now OP wants strangers to help him pay for them and allegedly his? I'm not going to post the Instagram out of respect for his wife as I don't know if she's in on this too but it's pretty sad. I doubt the wife is involved though as there is zero mention of the gofundme on her instagram to her 400+ followers. Posts sure as hell don't look like she's struggling either.

    Like you said though, when you ask strangers online for money let alone thirty thousand dollars, I don't think it's that farfetched that those you are asking from to look into it.
     

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