3pm Service at the Small Chapel of Aaron Maybin (next to Best Buy)

PRPitbull · Oct 27, 2011

Ulrich said: ↑

And lo when he found himself in the land of the Pennsylvanians, Aaron spake unto Lord Revis and said: "I thank thee Lord, for thy gift of speed, and the unstoppable hustle that thou hast deemed fit to grant me. Thou hast made me most comely unto the eyes of NFL scouts, and thus do they woo me with promises of kine and myrrh and a high draft choice. But thou dost me grievous wrong, my Lord! Verily hast thou created me barren of pass-rushing moves, nary a spin nor a swim-move with which thou hast blessed many other, humbler linebackers. Also hast thou molded me alike to the toothpick. Thus on many plays do I wander aimlessly in the empty backfield in search of the promised sack. Would it not please the Lord to see thy servant smite thine enemies upon the field of football? Wouldst thou not rejoice to see thy name glorified in many sacks and pressures and tackles for a loss? I beseech thee Lord Revis, bestow upon me thy boon of playmaking, and accept me as thy disciple amongst the New York Jets, that I might spread thy Word unto the heathens upon ESPN and comparable sports sites!"

But the Lord Revis was not pleased. "Who art thou that doth question the will of the Lord? Is the Lord not the Lord? There is not a pass on this vast earth that is not defended by Me. Not a quarterback whose heart doth not quell in terror at mere mention of My name. I know the position of all footballs that are, have been, and will ever be. I have humbled the proud receivers. I have held out my Glory from the greedy owner and GM until they repented, and shall so anew. I am all that is Revis. Thou art nothing, that is Maybin. Thou shalt know thy place! Hereby do I banish thee from my presence. In the very asshole of New York shalt thou dwell two winters; and there, amongst the lepers and blind men of the NFL shalt thou learn the bitter lesson of my absence. Only then, once those that all reject have rejected thee, thy forehead scarred with the brand of the first-round bust, when thou hast not a single sack to thy name, shall I accept thee unto my presence, and allow thee to be a playmaker and a New York Jet.

And thus it came to pass.
Click to expand...

Ulrich, ROTY

RPOZ51 · Oct 27, 2011

All praise be to the Minister of Mayhem, the High Priest of Perpetual Motion.

I am really pulling for this guy.

I hope he turns out to be everything that I had hoped Gholston would turn out to be.

:up:

BK_Jetsfan · Oct 28, 2011

Thread of 2011?????

ConcordeChops · Oct 28, 2011

BK_Jetsfan said: ↑

Thread of 2011?????
Click to expand...

You've not seen 5pm prayers at the Nick Folk mosque yet.

rico college · Oct 28, 2011

Ulrich said: ↑

And lo when he found himself in the land of the Pennsylvanians, Aaron spake unto Lord Revis and said: "I thank thee Lord, for thy gift of speed, and the unstoppable hustle that thou hast deemed fit to grant me. Thou hast made me most comely unto the eyes of NFL scouts, and thus do they woo me with promises of kine and myrrh and a high draft choice. But thou dost me grievous wrong, my Lord! Verily hast thou created me barren of pass-rushing moves, nary a spin nor a swim-move with which thou hast blessed many other, humbler linebackers. Also hast thou molded me alike to the toothpick. Thus on many plays do I wander aimlessly in the empty backfield in search of the promised sack. Would it not please the Lord to see thy servant smite thine enemies upon the field of football? Wouldst thou not rejoice to see thy name glorified in many sacks and pressures and tackles for a loss? I beseech thee Lord Revis, bestow upon me thy boon of playmaking, and accept me as thy disciple amongst the New York Jets, that I might spread thy Word unto the heathens upon ESPN and comparable sports sites!"

But the Lord Revis was not pleased. "Who art thou that doth question the will of the Lord? Is the Lord not the Lord? There is not a pass on this vast earth that is not defended by Me. Not a quarterback whose heart doth not quell in terror at mere mention of My name. I know the position of all footballs that are, have been, and will ever be. I have humbled the proud receivers. I have held out my Glory from the greedy owner and GM until they repented, and shall so anew. I am all that is Revis. Thou art nothing, that is Maybin. Thou shalt know thy place! Hereby do I banish thee from my presence. In the very asshole of New York shalt thou dwell two winters; and there, amongst the lepers and blind men of the NFL shalt thou learn the bitter lesson of my absence. Only then, once those that all reject have rejected thee, thy forehead scarred with the brand of the first-round bust, when thou hast not a single sack to thy name, shall I accept thee unto my presence, and allow thee to be a playmaker and a New York Jet.

And thus it came to pass.
Click to expand...

Amen to that.......

Sent from my EVO 3D

Barry the Baptist · Oct 28, 2011

Ulrich said: ↑

And lo when he found himself in the land of the Pennsylvanians, Aaron spake unto Lord Revis and said: "I thank thee Lord, for thy gift of speed, and the unstoppable hustle that thou hast deemed fit to grant me. Thou hast made me most comely unto the eyes of NFL scouts, and thus do they woo me with promises of kine and myrrh and a high draft choice. But thou dost me grievous wrong, my Lord! Verily hast thou created me barren of pass-rushing moves, nary a spin nor a swim-move with which thou hast blessed many other, humbler linebackers. Also hast thou molded me alike to the toothpick. Thus on many plays do I wander aimlessly in the empty backfield in search of the promised sack. Would it not please the Lord to see thy servant smite thine enemies upon the field of football? Wouldst thou not rejoice to see thy name glorified in many sacks and pressures and tackles for a loss? I beseech thee Lord Revis, bestow upon me thy boon of playmaking, and accept me as thy disciple amongst the New York Jets, that I might spread thy Word unto the heathens upon ESPN and comparable sports sites!"

But the Lord Revis was not pleased. "Who art thou that doth question the will of the Lord? Is the Lord not the Lord? There is not a pass on this vast earth that is not defended by Me. Not a quarterback whose heart doth not quell in terror at mere mention of My name. I know the position of all footballs that are, have been, and will ever be. I have humbled the proud receivers. I have held out my Glory from the greedy owner and GM until they repented, and shall so anew. I am all that is Revis. Thou art nothing, that is Maybin. Thou shalt know thy place! Hereby do I banish thee from my presence. In the very asshole of New York shalt thou dwell two winters; and there, amongst the lepers and blind men of the NFL shalt thou learn the bitter lesson of my absence. Only then, once those that all reject have rejected thee, thy forehead scarred with the brand of the first-round bust, when thou hast not a single sack to thy name, shall I accept thee unto my presence, and allow thee to be a playmaker and a New York Jet.

And thus it came to pass.
Click to expand...

The best part of this for me is that I had the theme from the Lost Boys playinig at the same time I was reading this by odd coincidence...

thou shall not fall

thou shall not die

thou shall not fear

thou shall not kill

NDmick · Oct 29, 2011

I don't think I've ever seen one post get quoted just to give praise as much as Ulrich's post.

Murrell2878 · Oct 29, 2011

http://www.nypost.com/p/sports/jets..._1q0CG7GsLI8VaruVf1zlwK?CMP=OTC-rss&FEEDNAME=

BadgerOnLSD · Oct 29, 2011

NDmick said: ↑

I don't think I've ever seen one post get quoted just to give praise as much as Ulrich's post.
Click to expand...

Back in 2005, before the 10 character limit, a post could generate pages of nothing but lol, :rofl:, lmao, etc.

Miamipuck · Oct 29, 2011

Maybin is a huge stud on the defensive line. If it wasn't for Maybin the Jets Dline would be total failure. I sprinkle holy water on him,...........

Hobbes3259 · Oct 29, 2011

BadgerOnLSD said: ↑

Back in 2005, before the 10 character limit, a post could generate pages of nothing but lol, :rofl:, lmao, etc.
Click to expand...

:rofl2: ..........

Cunninglinguist · Oct 30, 2011

Ulrich said: ↑

And lo when he found himself in the land of the Pennsylvanians, Aaron spake unto Lord Revis and said: "I thank thee Lord, for thy gift of speed, and the unstoppable hustle that thou hast deemed fit to grant me. Thou hast made me most comely unto the eyes of NFL scouts, and thus do they woo me with promises of kine and myrrh and a high draft choice. But thou dost me grievous wrong, my Lord! Verily hast thou created me barren of pass-rushing moves, nary a spin nor a swim-move with which thou hast blessed many other, humbler linebackers. Also hast thou molded me alike to the toothpick. Thus on many plays do I wander aimlessly in the empty backfield in search of the promised sack. Would it not please the Lord to see thy servant smite thine enemies upon the field of football? Wouldst thou not rejoice to see thy name glorified in many sacks and pressures and tackles for a loss? I beseech thee Lord Revis, bestow upon me thy boon of playmaking, and accept me as thy disciple amongst the New York Jets, that I might spread thy Word unto the heathens upon ESPN and comparable sports sites!"

But the Lord Revis was not pleased. "Who art thou that doth question the will of the Lord? Is the Lord not the Lord? There is not a pass on this vast earth that is not defended by Me. Not a quarterback whose heart doth not quell in terror at mere mention of My name. I know the position of all footballs that are, have been, and will ever be. I have humbled the proud receivers. I have held out my Glory from the greedy owner and GM until they repented, and shall so anew. I am all that is Revis. Thou art nothing, that is Maybin. Thou shalt know thy place! Hereby do I banish thee from my presence. In the very asshole of New York shalt thou dwell two winters; and there, amongst the lepers and blind men of the NFL shalt thou learn the bitter lesson of my absence. Only then, once those that all reject have rejected thee, thy forehead scarred with the brand of the first-round bust, when thou hast not a single sack to thy name, shall I accept thee unto my presence, and allow thee to be a playmaker and a New York Jet.

And thus it came to pass.
Click to expand...

Bro that was awesome. But it goes to show how any clever man can create a "bible

Ulrich · Oct 30, 2011

Thanks guys.

Cunninglinguist said: ↑

But it goes to show how any clever man can create a "bible
Click to expand...

Or just a pastiche. Either way blasphemy is dangerous business: the morning after I last posted in this thread my HD was smitten dead with about 10 days of unbacked-up work on it.

Acad23 · Oct 30, 2011

Ulrich said: ↑

Thanks guys.

Or just a pastiche. Either way blasphemy is dangerous business: the morning after I last posted in this thread my HD was smitten dead with about 10 days of unbacked-up work on it.
Click to expand...

Funny how that shit works.

Love me my NY Jets.

Murrell2878 · Nov 5, 2011

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news;_ylt=Aq_JJjP5eM6NZU8dx9hMN.VDubYF?slug=ycn-10365825

BleedgreenIII · Nov 6, 2011

@ concordechops & Ulrich great posts...

Has to be the funniest thread I have read in a while...

Will-I-Am-Not · Nov 6, 2011

Great stuff! Two sacks today for Mayhem!

NDmick · Nov 6, 2011

He's getting inside pressure, and when he does, he's causing INTs today.

By playoff time, he may be on the field for 50% of the snaps.

ukilledkenny · Nov 6, 2011

He pushed a lineman back into fitzpatrick on that int.

Great to see him still getting better.

Murrell2878 · Nov 6, 2011

he's playing another strong game

3pm Service at the Small Chapel of Aaron Maybin (next to Best Buy)

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