Scene opens with morty on his computer with the derp w mouth clicking through doing his own mock drafts and rick busts in with a bottle of booze Rick: morty we gotta go save the nebulon princess on planet glorpfrog.. come on morty we gotta...wait w-w-w-whaddya doing? Morty: oh well the season ended so I'm doing mock drafts rick. Rick: w..what the fucks a mock draft Morty: it's when fans make their picks to see how they think the draft will play out Rick: uhhh you should of just said porn morty it would be less pathetic. Morty: aw jeeze rick you know you don't gotta be so mean rick. Mock drafts are fun. Mock drafts let people get exited about the draft. Mock drafts let people- Rick: ughhh what's the fucking point of doing a draft when free agency hasn't even started yet. You know like half these teams with no quarterback could have one by then. Morty: yeah I know rick aw but it's fun to pick who I want Rick: yeah it's like a slaaaaaave auction *drinks* buuuurp ugh let's see your draft anyway *looks at screen with judgmental squinting eyes* hmmmmmm okay first barkley... Giants get darnold... Cleveland gets Fitzpatrick .. broncos take Rosen and jets.... are you fucking high morty? Have...have you been getting drugs from the forkrockrunps again? Morty I told you not to take food from them morty!!! Morty: aw jeeze rick what's wrong with taking chubb rick? He's a real good player rick Rick: yeah and whose throwing the ball retard, baker is right there for the taking and you take Leonard Williams dipshit little cousin. Morty: a-awww jeeze rick you don't gotta be so harsh we really gotta get to the passer this year Rick: oh and who could do it? Mo? Big cat? Maudlin? Fucking Vernon gholston? Jeeeeeze morty you know why they don't know how to chase a passer? They don't have one at practice to chase! Come live drills they just run around in circles like orphans who lost their imaginary friend * hands morty a video screen showing jets practice where the center snaps to air and Leonard Williams is running around in a circle chasing his imaginary tail, mo sits down working on his tan, and Darron lee runs through the line breaking a block but keeps running v through the endzone and into the night club across the streeet* Morty: a-awww jeeze rick I , I didn't know rick I... I guess they do need a passer
Great post. But let’s move this to Draft Forum shall we? Please keep those conversations coming. Let next one be between Bowles and Mack regarding free agency.
I could see Rick telling Morty that even if Michael Strahan is a gapped tooth jackass who would need to be naked to count to 21 even he knows that in order to beat Tom Brady you need to punch the Patriots line in the face. How is Josh Allen going to punch Tom Brady in the face Morty? It took the Eagles 58 minutes to get to Tom Brady but they did it and that's how they won. Where was Carson Wentz? He was picking splinters out of his ass on the bench Morty.
