I always found it funny how "stories" can be true, but all of my stories are true. All of them. I'll start with this one that happened at 6:26 p.m. EST (because I looked at my watch when it was over). Let me preface the story by saying that my hearing is for shit in my left ear. It's never been officially determined if it's congenital or the result of a debilitating ear infection while I was in foster care as an infant. Anyway, it's bad, and because I'm a south paw, I always habitually put the phone to my left ear . . . but that's a story for another day. So anyway, I'm at the local supermarket and I'm sporting my winter Sock Monkey hat. Let me just say that I love that hat more than chocolate and this is coming from a chocoholic. There's a guy who works there who is mentally challenged. He is kind and a complete sweetheart. Let's call him Big Tall Guy. As soon as I get off the check out line, Big Tall Guy stops me and says, "You look just like my friend, Harry." "I look just like your friend, Harry (confused)?" "You look just like my friend, Harry." I'm thinking Sock Monkey hat, Harry and the Hendersons . . . I have no clue where this is coming from. Please be advised that he's to the left of me and that Big Tall Guy is also highly functional. One cashier is looking at her feet, another one is looking at the ceiling, another one starts losing it. Big Tall Guy yells at the top of his lungs, "ARE YOU DEAF? HER NAME IS CARI. CARI. YOU LOOK JUST LIKE MY FRIEND, CARI!" Of course, I lost it and started shrieking. I apologized to him and explained that I misheard and that I wasn't in the least bit poking fun at him. So today I committed Harry Cari.
