Trumaine Johnson and the curious case of the secured bag

Discussion in 'New York Jets' started by 6-10 once again, Nov 7, 2018.

  1. 6-10 once again

    6-10 once again Well-Known Member

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    As we all have forgot the jets signed Trumaine Johnson this free agency to a hefty contract, a contract truly befitting a god that was said to be impenetrable against the likes of elite studs like donte moncrief.

    In week 1 he intercepted Matthew Stafford and for 2.4 seconds had jet fans celebrating before he was hit and fumbled the ball right back into lions arms. Had it been a briefcase of cash Trumaine would have no doubt returned it to the house to "take care of his own" and of course " get his " but no this was just a football and it meant nothing to Trumaine who already had a firmly secured bag of cash courtesy of the jets porous pockets

    On this play Trumaine was "injured" because well of course he was, in years prior he would have played through this pain but with contract in hand it was off to the locker room for a dip in his private portable jacuzzi. He would return when he felt like it.


    In the coming weeks Trumaines ego would be crushed by none other then donte moncrief himself. He was tru-man handled for the tune of 109 yards and a touchdown. Sensing that his new life of jacuzzis, pizza and jersey whores was slowing him down and ruining his rep he decided to develop a quad injury.

    The cause and severity of the injury is of course unknown because of course the injury does not exist. The only thing that exists for trumaine is his bag and the many big city splendors he can stuff inside. "When the bag is secure my quad is now sore" - Trumaine Johnson

    Trumaine will return when he sees an opportune situation, the weather must be perfect, the field must be pristine and the opposing quarterback has to be terrible, all the signs are pointing to a temporary return this week vs the bills. The sheep will be excited for his triumphant return and Trumaine may even pick off whatever slug buffalo plays at QB.

    But this won't last, the incoming bye week presents an extra week for Trumaine to plan his next injury and avoid facing off against the patriots as well as facing off against the incoming colder weather. Trumaine will hide in the warmth and comforts of his bag and we will all just sit back and be forced to accept it.

    He got his and we got got.
     
  2. FJF

    FJF 2018 MVP Joe Namath Award Winner

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  3. Rollo Tomassi

    Rollo Tomassi Well-Known Member

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    I don't wear underwear because I don't want my bag secured.
     
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  4. Acad23

    Acad23 Well-Known Member

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    Cool story though...
     
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  5. Donttasemebro

    Donttasemebro Well-Known Member

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  6. Sam Hammer

    Sam Hammer Well-Known Member

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    We all know that Jets players never get injured. They fake it because they are lazy and just don't want to play. LMFAO! This thread gets a long drawn out sigh. Think I vomited a little bit in my mouth reading that.
     
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  7. Jets69

    Jets69 Well-Known Member

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    I thought the moronic threads were mandated for the off-season only, wrong AGAIN.
     
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  8. WarriorRB28

    WarriorRB28 Well-Known Member

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    I never heard of this guy before the Jets signed him.
     
  9. Jersey Joe 67

    Jersey Joe 67 Well-Known Member

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    The story was a bit long winded but the long & short of it is that this was a bust of a signing until proven otherwise... get your lazy ass back to work !


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  10. JackBower

    JackBower Well-Known Member

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    Italians are from Italy
     
  11. Rollo Tomassi

    Rollo Tomassi Well-Known Member

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    Not an NFL fan, are we?
     
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  12. CotcheryFan

    CotcheryFan 2018 ROTY Poster Award Winner

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    Trumaine Johnson looks fat to me.
     
  13. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    I thought you meant Cory Monteith, the guy on that show 'Glee' that I never saw even once. He OD'd in a hotel in Canada after spending a $100,000 more than once for what he could have gotten for free in a Church basement. I detest the addiction industry. It's horseshit and should be shut down. I have a big ax to grind and I'll always be grinding it. Ask me.

    "Befitting a god", haha, what did you copy and paste this from, the Bible?
     
  14. FJF

    FJF 2018 MVP Joe Namath Award Winner

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    No one is surprised by this
     
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  15. Longsuffering88

    Longsuffering88 Well-Known Member

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    I agree with OP


    Kid gets paid, and burnt, and is “hurt” until he sees the right matchup

    LoL

    I know- it’s crazy, but this is the Jets
     
  16. WarriorRB28

    WarriorRB28 Well-Known Member

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    I had heard of Aaron Donald before.

    I had heard of Todd Gurley before.

    I never heard of this guy before the Jets signed him. Out of nowhere he became a big money FA shutdown CB.

    From what I've seen from him so far with the Jets I can see why I didn't hear about him.
     
  17. Dierking

    Dierking Well-Known Member

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    I heard of Johnny Unitas before
     
  18. NYJetsO12

    NYJetsO12 Well-Known Member

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    Real or imagined injury this signing of a high priced pos is another strike against Mm
     
  19. Rollo Tomassi

    Rollo Tomassi Well-Known Member

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    Ooohhh so you just watch ESPN highlights.

    Got it.
     
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  20. BrowningNagle

    BrowningNagle Well-Known Member

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    He pulls his quad and it’s a 6 week injury...

    Great signing
     

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