The Ed Hochuli Network

http://weblogs.newsday.com/sports/KBQB_blog/2006/12/ed_hercules.html

By Mark La Monica

We can go to a convenience store and decide which type of soda we want to buy. We can name our own prices for airline tickets and hotel rooms. We can watch a television show on our computer.

But for the love of Pete, why can't we order the "Ed Hochuli plan" on DirecTV? Seems to me the NFL is missing out on a brilliant marketing plan.

Hochuli is the most jacked referee in pro sports. This dude is 6-1, 215 pounds. All muscle. Forget Ed Hochuli. He's Ed Hercules!

This past January, Sports Illustrated detailed Hochuli's workout regimen. You'll simultaneously feel more manly and more of a weakling reading it.

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This is Hochuli's 17th season as an NFL official. He's one of the best there is, and his lengthy explanations on penalties are informative for fans in and out of the stadium. He also happens to be a lawyer. A bona fide Hercules of the brain, too.

Seriously, don't you get a little more fired up for an NFL game when Hochuli is on the call. He makes fans watching at home root for penalties.

"We always used to get together and watch the games, and then we noticed this hunky, buff referee on the field," said Jessica McCartney in a telephone interview with the Keyboard Quarterbacks. "We kept watching for any game Ed Hochuli was reffing."

McCartney, who lives in Chicago, took her Hochuli crush a step further and created whatwouldedhochulido.com. The Web site began as a place to sell Hochuli T-shirts but has now in its second season grown to include all this Hochuli.

And if you're looking for a gift for that football fan who has everything already, take a look at these little Ed Hochuli treats. T-shirts, sweatshirts, mugs and more.

"I always used to pose that question when we were deciding where to go or what to do," McCartney said. "What would Ed Hochuli do? It's is a nice little side business."

McCartney estimated she makes about $200 a month during the football season on Hochuli merchandise. And, yes, Ed knows about the site and the shirts. They exchanged e-mails when McCartney was trying to launch the site.

Other Hochuli sites exists, including edhochuli.com (just a URL that someone is trying to sell) and hochuli.net (a photo shrine to "NFL Ref No. 85")

Such is the power of Hochuli. If your team has a go-ahead touchdown called back because of a leg whip, Hochuli makes the pain easier to withstand because you know it was the right call. Plus, how can you argue with a guy who could beat up half the players on the field?

"The thing about him is he takes the time to really explain the penalty to the point where he almost sounds like he's criticizing the other team," McCartney said.

The NFL doesn't release the schedules for its referees, which is probably a smart thing. You just never know what a crazy NFL fan would do. But if there were an Ed Hochuli programming package, would it really matter if you didn't know who was playing until the game started?

Imagine having this conversation on a Sunday morning:

"Hey, grab the fellas and come over for the game today."

"OK, cool. Wait, do you get the Ed Hochuli channel?"

"No."

"Yeah, forget it dude. I'm staying at home to watch Titans-Lions."

"But the Colts are playing the Patriots at 1 p.m. and you're a Manning fan."

"Sure, but c'mon. It's Ed friggin' Hochuli!"

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I know there are a lot of Hochuli crazes around here :rofl2: