I have this friend who I believe is ruining herself. She has a very stressful job in lower manhattan, she doesnt eat, she drinks a lot, very flirty , mom had a stroke and her father has cancer. I ran into her after having not seen her in months and she looks like a mess (dark spots all over her face and crowsfeet almost taking over her face). Like its a day and night difference and its only been 4 months! I have been trying to contact and trying to help but shes not letting me in. This person meant a lot to me and I really hate to see her get worst. She stormed from me the last time I seen her. Should I bother to help or just move on?
Can't help those who don't want to be helped. I'd move on. Very nice of you to play good Samaritan though.
Some people usually block out others when they really want help. I know I do that a lot when I know I'm screwed.
I feel like there's stigma that if you are a man and you are asking for help you aren't "strong" or some bullshit. Men psychologically have a harder time asking for help. I know how you feel, I do the same thing also when I am in trouble. Women, she might need help - but Mute shouldn't stalk her to help her.
Clearly she needs a knight in shining armor. Mount your steed and storm her castle. Ride like the wind, young squire.
are you serious? My intentions isnt to sleep with her I just genuinely care about her. I dont think she sees that though as she hinted she has had trouble with men in the past. This sucks man
What are you going to do to let her in? Can't push yourself into other people's lives if they don't want to bother with your company
The 2 of you are friends? I would pursue it Do either of you have dogs? I know it sounds stupid but walkin every morning is very theraputic Good luck
she still considers me a friend as I last spoke to her last month. But the last appearance she ran away from me. Turns around to look back at me sadly and continues on her way. Before things went to shit she was always jumpy and would panic about little things. She was also proud she threw up 3x once when sick. I got the sense she was looking for a proper dude to correct something in her life.
When she is ready get her the name of a good therapist, Psychiatrist etc. But remember timing is everything.
Dont know if she'll ever be as shes hard to get in contact to begin with. I plan on trying one more time because summer is around the corner and I dont want to be dealing with anything then.
Her problems sounds a lot more deep seated than what you see on the outside. She needs professional help and without that Md behind your name, I don't think you have the skills.. All you can do is pray for her and hope when she crashes, and she will, she won't fall so hard as to not be able to get up again. You can't force people to help themselves. She's a friend? Then all you can do is be a friend in return. Intervention sounds great, but it might not work in this case.
I guess youre right . Despite the advice im going to try one more time because if something does happen Id like to know I did everything I could. Maybe im stupid but it just hurts sitting down and doing nothing. Anyway Thanks!
I recommend you spend more time with her if you can. That way, you can control how much trouble she is getting into.
