This morning I took a humongous diarrhea shit and did my customary half-flush so I could read the future in my floaters. I saw clear as a bell, Peyton Manning dropping back, and getting his arm hit by a marquee pass rusher. Shoulder cuff - torn, decline - hastened. Might even be Mario Williams that did it. I also saw that Lindsay Lohan was blowing one of the security guys in the tunnel for a crack rock, but that's hardly a prediction.
I saw a piece of a half-digested lettuce leaf that meant without a doubt that you will have wild sex with the cleaning woman of a nearby hotel on your lunch break. She had a mole on her lip, but also large breasts. I guess it depends if lip moles bother you.
Is it possible that instead of a mole on her lip, the shit leaves were saying that I'd finally kill the mole in my yard? Or perhaps the cleaning lady has an actual mole living on her face.