Hi, my name is DeathByJets and I?m a loserholic

Discussion in 'New York Jets' started by DeathByJets, Sep 15, 2008.

  1. DeathByJets

    DeathByJets Well-Known Member

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    Hi, my name is DeathByJets and I’m a loserholic.

    It has been 24 hours since I last drank the Kool-aid. I have been backing losers since I was 8 years old.

    I am a fan of the Jets, Mets, and Knicks. I have not backed a winning candidate for President since I have been eligible to vote (5 elections and counting). And my all-time favorite rock band (Rush) will never be elected to the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame. If not for Bill Buckner, I would be 0-for-life.

    The problem isn’t so much that I back losers, it’s that I convince myself that this time it will be different. Oh, how many times did I say Ewing and the Knicks will beat Jordan and the Bulls. No brainer…Al Gore just has to beat Bush. And this time we will beat the Belichick and the Pats.

    To the loserholic, you always think you’ve hit rock bottom and things have to improve…and then something like yesterday happens. Brady is out, this is our chance. We are going to make those third down stops. Farve will be able to move the team better than Pennington. With our improved O-Line punching it in from the 1 should be no problem.

    And then depression sets in. The Sunday night fog after a loss, followed by a Monday of ridicule in the office and reading the NY paper diatribes online. Ugh.

    By Thursday I’ll be pulling myself out of my loserholic funk, and start to convince myself the Jets can beat the Chargers. And if this season doesn’t turn out as expected, at least I can bask in the certain victory to come from Barack Obama.

    So, clearly you can see I need help. I’ve decided to enroll in a 12-Step Program:

    1. We admit we were powerless over the Same Ole Jets—that our Sundays have become unmanageable.
    2. Come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves (I assume this is Brett Favre) could restore us to sanity.
    3. Make a decision to turn our remote controls and Sunday Ticket Subscription over to the care of our children…hoping they will pick a better favorite team.
    4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our Jets memorabilia.
    5. Admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of Herman Edwards' wrongs.
    6. Are entirely ready to have Eric Mangini remove all these defects of playcalling.
    7. Humbly asked Him (Mangini) to remove our short yardage run plays.
    8. Make a list of all players/coaches we have verbally harmed, and become willing to make amends to them all.
    9. Make direct amends to such players/coaches wherever possible (I’ve mailed bundt cakes to Doug Brien, Leon Johnson, and Rich Kotite), except when to do so would injure them or others (Herm is still causing damage to those poor flustrated bastards in KC).
    10. Continue to take personal inventory of pre-season predictions and when we are wrong promptly post it.
    11. Seek through prayer and meditation to improve our pass rush and run stopping, praying only for knowledge of Belicheck’s demise and the power to carry that out.
    12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to loserholics, and to practice these principles in all our rooting interests.

    Joe Willie grant us the serenity to accept the games we cannot win,
    courage to root for the games we can,
    and wisdom to know the difference.

    DbJ
     
    #1 DeathByJets, Sep 15, 2008
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2008
  2. Phlyphrytz

    Phlyphrytz New Member

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    keep coming back... it works if you work it.
     
  3. BleedGreen4ever

    BleedGreen4ever Active Member

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    Funniest post of all time i love it
     
  4. Bosko

    Bosko Guest

    KISS of Death?

    Nahh, Rush will be elected someday.

    However, if you were a KISS fan? THEN you'd have a case for being a loserholic. That band, as great as they are, and as much as they deserve to be in the RNRHOF, will never be allowed in. (I know someone on the committee... Believe me, no KISS ever!)

    Also, aren't KISS from Queens? Now that's sad.

     
  5. Cman68

    Cman68 The Dark Admin, 2018 BEST Darksider Poster

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    Can I get an Amen????
     
  6. TheBlairThomasFumble

    TheBlairThomasFumble Active Member

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    Great post! Take it one day at a time. :)
     
  7. Attackett

    Attackett Well-Known Member

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    We love you Death By Jets.
     
  8. joesanerd

    joesanerd New Member

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    I hear ya man... i swear if the Mets don't make the playoffs, I'm going out to have kids just so they can pick new teams to root for
     
  9. CatoTheElder

    CatoTheElder 2009 Comeback Poster of the Year

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    Praise Jebus! I'm saved!
     
  10. Br4d

    Br4d 2018 Weeb Ewbank Award

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    You da man DBJ. This post should be on office bulletin boards all over the tristate area.
     
  11. ScotsJet

    ScotsJet Active Member

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    It could be worse, you could root for the Jets & Cubs like I do. That's 140 years of misery right there.
     
  12. GreenHornet

    GreenHornet New Member

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    DBJ, the main problem as I see it, is we've acquired Bret Favre, but are still calling plays for Chad Pennington. I do not think we will realize the true potential of our offense or even defense for that matter until after the bye.

    I know it is painful to be consistently outcoached and outsmarted by the Darth Vader of the NFL, but in the end justice will be served and we will beat the evil bridge troll.

    Will we win in San Diego? One thing is for sure; we will be playing a team that wants to kill anything that moves; they have to be incredibly irate and willing to take it out to the nth degree on their next opponent who just happens to be the Favre Crew. We have to do a much better job than we did against the Pats if we are to win that game. Is it possible; I can't say. I'd like to believe we can win, but after witnessing the mistakes, penalties, bad coaching, Shanker Graham, Footless Feely, and Jordan's Revenge, admittedly, I do not brim with confidence.

    BTW, Obama has no chance of winning.
     
  13. Br4d

    Br4d 2018 Weeb Ewbank Award

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    Aha! I have you pinned Sir! You are a loserholic.
     
  14. winstonbiggs

    winstonbiggs 2008/2009 TGG Bill Parcells "Most Respected" Award

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    Serenity now DBJ serenity now. Great post DBJ! Seriously this is not the same old Jets, the beauty of time and marking it with the rituals of closing seasons and opening them is we have an opportunity to create new debacles every year that stand out on their own.
     
  15. Big Blocker

    Big Blocker Well-Known Member

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    Until proven otherwise, maybe instead of Same Old Jets it should be New Jets, Same Result.
     
  16. pats-hater

    pats-hater Active Member

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    DBJ,


    Great stuff.

    Thanks for sharing.
     
  17. AlioTheFool

    AlioTheFool Spiveymaniac

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    DBJ, you are the man! :beer:
     
  18. GreenHornet

    GreenHornet New Member

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    DBJ, if we were going to LA, that would start the cure for Loserholism.
     
  19. tcrock

    tcrock Well-Known Member

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    DBJ.........I'm right there with ya....

    awaiting another Met collapse, still trying to figure out what the hell Mangini was thinking on Sunday

    Buckner and Messier........the rare bright lights in an otherwise miserable sports rooting life
     
  20. Italian Seafood

    Italian Seafood New Member

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    Look at it this way, Isiah is out and Patrick Ewing Jr is now on the team. Better times are ahead. :up:

    What were those 12 steps again?
     

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