Dolphin-bashing Monday

Let's start with a tweet from Steelers S Ryan Clark.
https://twitter.com/#!/RealRClark25/status/181509915062435840

No one! To believe I almost went there but it was easy decision not to. GM RT @captmrose: No kidding! NOONE wants to go to the Dolphins!

Now, onto the 2 other articles.

http://deadspin.com/5894470/the-dolphins-have-spent-an-offseason-humiliating-themselves
The Dolphins Have Spent An Offseason Humiliating Themselves

Believe me when I tell you that I say this with zero malice: the Dolphins are a pathetic franchise at the moment. It's not so much that two weeks ago they were certain they were going to have Peyton Manning throwing to Brandon Marshall and Reggie Wayne, and now they may have to content themselves with Richard Marshall. It's how desperate and open their one-sided courtship has been, and how publicly they were turned down. The Dolphins are the guy proposing on the stadium jumbotron and getting shot down.

It all started off so promisingly. Miami was everyone's logical landing spot for Manning because of their black hole at quarterback. When Washington made the move to get Robert Griffin III, we all fired up the Photoshop to put Manning in Teal. And why wouldn't he want to play there? We've been conditioned (thanks LeBron) to think that athletes want nothing more than sunshine and beaches and zero income tax, and he already owned a house in South Florida. Yes, a part of us knew that Manning was only going home when he flew there immediately after his tearful press conference in Indianapolis. But it was a perfect fit.

We know now that we projected Manning as a Dolphin based solely on the cold logic of football: Miami needed a quarterback and could afford to pay Manning whatever he wanted. That's the danger of anointing any team a "favorite" before the player actually starts to decide. So maybe the media is partly to blame for getting the Dolphins' hopes up. Still, they eagerly went all in, doing nothing to downplay the hopes of their fans. It was almost as if they thought the power of positive thinking could simply will Manning to Sun Life; The Secret of NFL free agency. Ask, believe, deceive.

So we get things like the local CBS traffic copter hovering near the airport to catch a glimpse of Manning touching down on Florida soil, and "Manning To Miami" billboards with an accompanying website (which remains ever-upbeat in the face of reality, a heartbreaking testament to hope and delusion), and even an awful song and Youtube video, the last refuge of the desperate fan.

And yet Manning eschewed visiting the Dolphins. His cross country trip took him from Durham to Nashville to Denver to Tempe to San Francisco. Gradually he whittled down his suitors: it had to sting when the Dolphins weren't among the cuts, because they weren't among the candidates. Yes, he had a meeting with Joe Philbin and the coaching staff, but as it turns out, Manning only did that as a favor to Dan Marino.

The Palm Beach Post reports that Miami's front office couldn't even get their calls returned by Manning's agent, let alone set up a facilities visit. As a last-ditch effort, the Dolphins turned to Dan Marino, Manning's golfing buddy. Marino called Peyton's personal phone and pleaded for some show of engagement. In the end, he got at least that face-to-face time for Philbin. But despite the fact that Manning has that home in South Florida, Dolphins brass was forced to fly to Indianapolis for the meeting. A pity lay if there ever was one, with the Dolphins flying back to Miami in their rumpled clothes from the night before, a flight of shame.

Manning eventually, mercifully, told the Fins they were out of the running, and precisely no one should have been surprised. These are the Dolphins, after all. Peter King chronicles a decade of bizarre moves and failed gambles and wrong choices in Miami, and you should send that link to every Browns fan you know to make them feel better about their team. Though the Dolphins want to scrub the slate clean, the stink of failure still hangs heavy. "No one" wants to go to Miami, said Ryan Clark. Once upon a time he almost considered it, but "it was an easy decision not to."

Once Manning turned them down, the Dolphins threw money at their Plan B. This Plan B has started three games in his NFL career. This Plan B also decided Miami wasn't for him. Now on to Plan C, Alex Smith, who is only looking for work because his former employer thinks it can get Peyton Manning. But if the 49ers can't close the deal with Manning, Smith would happily return to San Francisco. The Niners have added Mario Manningham, the Dolphins subtracted Brandon Marshall, and perhaps the biggest news of the offseason is that San Francisco has a better receiving corps than someone. That someone happens to be the Dolphins, but that's not news or a surprise. The Dolphins were supposed to spend the 2012 offseason reloading. And they have, but only so they can go on shooting themselves in the foot, like they've done for the last 10 years.

 

Another good Dolphin-bashing article in Peter King's MMQB.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2012/writers/peter_king/03/19/signings/1.html
In the immortal words of Vince Lombardi (sort of), "What the hell's going on down there?!"

In Miami, I mean.

In the last 10 years this franchise has been the most luckless, clueless, hapless club. To wit:

Head coaches (seven): Dave Wannstedt, Jim Bates, Nick Saban, Cam Cameron, Tony Sparano, Todd Bowles and now Joe Philbin.

Starting quarterbacks, minimum four starts (13): Jay Fiedler, Ray Lucas, Brian Griese, A.J. Feeley, Gus Frerotte, Daunte Culpepper, Joey Harrington, Cleo Lemon(!), Trent Green, John Beck, Chad Pennington, Chad Henne and now, evidently, Matt Moore. Unless they sign Alex Smith this morning, and if so, Smith would be in line to be the 14th starting quarterback in the last 11 seasons.

Offensive coordinators (seven): Norv Turner, Chris Foerster, Scott Linehan, Mike Mularkey, Dan Henning, Brian Daboll and now Mike Sherman.

Defensive coordinators (six): Jim Bates, Richard Smith, Dom Capers, Paul Pasqualoni, Mike Nolan and now Kevin Coyle.

The most bizarre moves, and aftermaths, of the last decade of Miami Dolphins football -- actually, decade plus 11 days, considering that the Dolphins traded for Ricky Williams 10 years and 11 days ago:

1. The ridiculous inability to find, develop and decide on a quarterback who could be even half as good as Dan Marino. Miami, in the last 10 years, has traded a seven for Rosenfels, a two for Feeley, a two for Culpepper, a six for Lemon, a five for Green, and used a two to draft Beck and another two to draft Henne. None is on the team anymore. None became a shadow of Marino. And Sunday, when Matt Flynn chose Seattle over Miami as the prize of a thin free agent quarterback crop, it left the Dolphins scrambling and reconsidering how aggressively to go after Alex Smith. Or hope Ryan Tannehill of Texas A&M would be there with the eighth pick in the first round on April 26. Or play with Matt Moore. Not very good options.

2. The ill-fated hiring of Nick Saban. He was supposed to turn the Dolphins around, and be the head coach for life, when Wayne Huizenga hired him early in 2005. He went 15-17, made a horrendous quarterback decision (picking Culpepper over Drew Brees in 2006) and skulked off to Alabama after denying 613 times he'd go back to college football.

3. The one you've all forgotten. Two days apart in early 2007, soon after Saban skulked off to Alabama (can't use that phrase enough), Miami interviewed two coordinator prospects -- among others -- to succeed Saban. The Dolphins favored offensive coordinator Cam Cameron of San Diego over Minnesota defensive coordinator Mike Tomlin. Cameron got the Miami job. Tomlin got the Pittsburgh job. Cameron went 1-15 and got fired. Tomlin went 10-6, won the AFC North and is 55-25 since, with a Super Bowl win.

4. Trades that stunk. Ricky Williams came in 2002 for two first-round draft picks and gave the Dolphins two terrific seasons -- and five lousy ones, and one-and-a-half suspended ones. Wes Welker was made a restricted free agent in 2007, and the Patriots stole him for second- and seventh-round draft picks. Those two picks turned into one season of center Samson Satele before he was dumped to Oakland for a sixth-rounder the next year. I'd call the Brandon Marshall trade (for two second-rounders in 2010) a debacle, but they did regain two third-rounders this year. They wasted two second-rounders on quarterbacks who barely had cups of coffee in Miami -- Feeley and Culpepper.

5. Drew Brees. Saban chose Culpepper over Brees in March 2006 because Brees was rehabbing major shoulder surgery. Ten months later, Saban skulked off to Alabama, and the 1-15 Dolphins of 2007 played with Lemon, Green and Beck. Funny thing, as I wrote a couple of months ago: On the night Miami had to make the decision which way to go on Brees or Culpepper, owner Wayne Huizenga was out to dinner with a friend and said. "I want them to sign Brees. They want Culpepper.'' Huizenga got a call on his cell phone and walked outside. When he came back inside the restaurant, Huizenga said his football people were insistent that Culpepper, for reasons monetary and football and health, was a better choice than Brees. "I told them, they're the football guys, not me,'' said Huizenga. But the owner repeated that if it were up to him, he'd have signed Brees. Miami is 37-59 since, with no playoff wins.

Clearly, when Huizenga brought in Bill Parcells, who imported Jeff Ireland from the Cowboys, he didn't expect the disastrous personnel run that has ensued. (And the man who bought the Dolphins from Huizenga, Stephen Ross, didn't expect Ireland to ask Dez Bryant the sordid question about his mother's occupation in the run-up to the 2010 draft either.) The Ross-Ireland daily double has failed to lure Jim Harbaugh and Jeff Fisher, and has failed to land Peyton Manning or Matt Flynn either.

When I was talking to Flynn Sunday night about why he chose the Seahawks, he must have repeated three or four times how much he liked the feeling he got from the Seahawks' coaches and front office people when he was in Seattle. He wouldn't say anything negative about Miami; he is very fond of his former offensive coordinator in Green Bay, Philbin. But clearly Flynn felt the love more in Seattle than in Miami.

It's absolutely amazing how much failure the Dolphins have endured in the last 10 years. And the way this year is beginning -- losing out on Fisher, Manning and Flynn -- I'm amazed that Ross is putting up with it without blowing a gasket.