Chad Pennington's Disease

Discussion in 'New York Jets' started by Phyr, Sep 25, 2006.

  1. Phyr

    Phyr Member

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    I would like to inform this community about a new disorder called Chad Pennington's Disease(CPD). I am afraid that it has hit extremely hard this year.

    Symptoms include:
    • excessive optimism and homerism including hopes for the playoffs
    • increasing league respect
    • decreasing 2007 draft position
    • craving for noodles and green koolaid
    • lust for a running game
    My study shows a correlation between the success of New York Jets quarterback Chad Pennington and the virulence of CPD. Statistical Mr. Pennington is having an great year so far. He is in the top 10 for most passing statistics in the National Football League. Mr Pennington is tied for 6th in completions (65), 7th in completion percentage (65.7%), 7th in passing yards (808), 7th in longest pass (71 yards), 8th in passing touchdowns (5), 8th in touchdown percentage (5.1%), tied for 5th in interceptions (1), and tenth in interception percentage (1.0%). His receiving corp also features the league's leader in reception (24) Laveranues Coles, who is also 2nd in receiving yards (331) and 4th in yards per game (110.3). Mr. Pennington has also distributed the football to 10 different receivers.

    However the most startling revelation seems to Mr. Pennington's passer rating and yards per pass attempt. Mr Pennington is 4th in the league in QB Rating (103.4). While the statistic is not perfect in the fact that higher scores don't necessarily mean that the offense is scoring, it gives a sense that Mr. Pennington is very efficient throwing the ball. Mr. Pennington is also 3rd in the league in YPA (8.16). Not only is Mr. Pennington throwing the ball efficiently but he is throwing the ball downfield. Mr. Pennington's critics have often lauded the fact that he has “a noddle arm”. Not only does the yards per pass statistic expose their fallacious logic but also shows that Mr. Pennington's shoulder is healthy and that New York Jets Offensive Coordinater Brian Schottenheimer has implemented a great offensive passing system for Mr. Pennington.

    The outlook for CPD is looking grim. As the New York Jets play the Miami Dolphins (twice) with Daunte Culpepper at quarterback, Houston which just elevated Ron Dayne to starting tailback last week and who's defense is giving up 483.7 yards of offense per game, the Detroit Lions who still have Matt Millen running the team into a downward spiral, the 0-3 Cleveland Browns, the Green Bay Packers who only won last week because they played Detroit, and finally ever destructing Oakland Raiders who are Dallas Maverick circa early1990s bad and could possibly go 0-16.

    With these easy games and the lack of a running, look for Mr. Pennington's statistics to continue on an upswing. One of my colleague's has a theory that if the Jets find a running game this season and Chad Pennington's stats decrease, that the effects of CPD will still manifest. I however will have to wait for some concrete data. If Mr. Pennington's stats continue not only will he win the the Comeback Player of the Year award but he also has a shot to take the trip to Hawaii.

    My name is Phyr and I have Chad Pennington's Disease.
     
    #1 Phyr, Sep 25, 2006
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2006
  2. BomberJet

    BomberJet Well-Known Member

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    You're the luckiest man on the face of the earth :smile:
     
  3. The Uniform Bomber

    The Uniform Bomber Spivey's Agent

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    haha. awesome post.

    great stats. Tony Realli (sp?) would be proud.



    cheers
     
  4. phubbadaman

    phubbadaman Well-Known Member

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    I'm just glad I have a post to look at with all Pennington's impressive numbers. Even though he is by far the comeback player of the year so far, I bet Culpepper or Deuce McCallister get the award because the media sucks.
     
  5. kbgreen

    kbgreen Well-Known Member

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    I was about to say that CPD will pass with time but on second thought I don't think so.

    CPD is good for the team even if it lowers our draft position a little. CPD is all about hope and belief and that is exactly what Mangini is trying to instill in this team. A belief that they are as good any team in the NFL, that they can come back from mistakes and deficits, That this is a winning franchise and as such expects to win.

    So I would not run out and try to find a cure for CPD just sit back enjoy the better play and hope that Chad stays healthy!
     
  6. Phyr

    Phyr Member

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    I am pretty sure that CPD is in fact fatal. Multiple studies have shown that 100% of CPD victims will eventual die. Right now there is no cure in sight.
     
  7. macbk

    macbk Well-Known Member

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    CPD :lol: It's odd that a disease is wanted by many QBs in the league, but Chad is the one to get it.
     
    #7 macbk, Sep 25, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 30, 2005
  8. BadgerOnLSD

    BadgerOnLSD Banned

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    My name is Badger and I too have Chad Pennington's Disease.
     
  9. FazeOne17

    FazeOne17 Active Member

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    Ive had CPD for quite a while
     
  10. iLoveJets

    iLoveJets New Member

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    Im am Unknown and I too have CPD
     
  11. ScotsJet

    ScotsJet Active Member

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    The Law Society of Scotland mandates that all us Scottish Solicitors undergo 20 hours of CPD annually. Apparently.

    Here is a great offer!
     
  12. greenthumb

    greenthumb New Member

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    Kinda scary. I hope CPD isn't life threatening because it seems to be spreeding like wildfire throughout the NY/NJ area. It won't be long until the Center for Disease Control comes in and quarantines the whole metro area!


    Oh god I feel the need to go put on my Pennington Jersey right now and wave my towel around my head, it's to late for me, SAVE YOURSELVES!
     
  13. Phyr

    Phyr Member

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    My sources from Florida tell me Daunte's Inferno is leading to a very serious strain of CPD. We might have to quarantine Florida as well.
     
  14. OhioJetsFan

    OhioJetsFan Member

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    Prior to surgical techniques developed in 2005, CPD was career-threatening. But with proper rehab and mega doses of Manginicillin, amazing turnarounds have occurred in lab studies to this date.

    Currently, however, prospects for sustained recovery are unknown but optimistic. More research in the field is required.
     
  15. Murrell2878

    Murrell2878 Lets go JETS!
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    I have Chad Pennington's Disease too !!!!!! :beer:
     
  16. Royal Tee

    Royal Tee Girls juss wanna have fun
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    There was a report in the NEJM that came out about CPD. This spawned a report by Insurance companies that it WILL NOT be covered since there is very little info on the disease and the Sudden outbreak.

    Ironically, the only coverage available at the moment is .........

    [​IMG]


    It is believed that this is because Chad was their spokesperson in previous years.
     
  17. Kris 15

    Kris 15 Well-Known Member

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    ^ ^ ^ Too good!! :lol:
     
  18. GreenHornet

    GreenHornet New Member

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    I had CPD once, but then it went away. Just when I thought I had it licked, it flaired up again. Go Jets!!!!!
     
  19. Slagan7

    Slagan7 Member

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    You know what? I saw some Giants fans with CPD after the first quarter of the Giants game yesterday at the bar. They kept chanting F the gmen, lets go Jets.

    I had CPD for so long, it actually is a mutation from KOBD....
     
  20. GreenScreen313

    GreenScreen313 New Member

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    Cool post, and great stats listed!

    Could have said "Mr. Pennington" a little less...but on that note

    I've got a mean case of CPD!!!
    J
    E
    T
    S
     

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