Can anyone please help?

Hi Ryan I kicked in some funds to you GFM. Hang in there things will get better and there is nothing wrong with asking for help.
Here are a few things that have helped me deal with depression and my own drinking problem that came as a bonus to my depression. These are only things that have helped me and I am not a professional in any way shape or form when it comes to this stuff. Also please understand now I am NOT trying to say you have a drinking problem but if you feel one coming on I just want to share my journey. Shit like depression and drinking problem will sneak up on you like a fucking ninja in a dark forest so just be super vigilant.

I had a drinking problem most of my adult life (I am 43 now) which slowly turned into a terrible drinking problem in July 2019 which included 10-12 drinks per day all while "cleverly" hiding it from my wife and children. Needless to say I was on the highway to hell and on the verge of losing my wife, children and everything good in my life. I got the book "The 30 Sobriety Solution" It really helped me get started in my quest to curb my drinking and it also has a lot of solutions for everyday life as well. I was able to turn 30 days into a 1 year goal of no alcohol which changed my life. You do not have to quit forever but the benefits of even a short term stoppage can be amazing. Financially you will be saving money, you will deal with your feelings/emotions instead of burying them in booze and your sleep usually improves.

Here is a link. You can find it elsewhere too! I got the audio version because I am a slow reader.
https://www.amazon.com/30-Day-Sobriety-Solution-Drinking-Privacy/dp/1476792968

As far as depression:
1.) Diet played a big role for me. More healthy food especially in the morning really helped me feel better through out the day.
2.) Stretching and exercise. The best part of this is it is free. I stretch every morning when I wake up and go for a 2 mile walk. Just find what works for you.
3.) Cold water. Also free. This works like a charm for me. Cold showers and cold plunges provide a good shock to your system and for me at least it beats back that depression bug like a hammer.
The water does not need to be freezing either around 60 degrees is what most cold plunges are at. Google Wim Hoff and check out his story. He has a good breathing technique that goes along with the cold water stuff.

Sorry for the rambling.

Best of luck to you and your wife. Keep your heads up and keep moving forward. Love each other and be there for each other. You can and will get through this.

 

Awesome post. I love it brother. Stay strong and thanks for sharing.

 

Just be careful about stopping alcohol cold turkey. A close friend did this recently and almost died.


Also, those AM ice cold showers were recommended to me. If you can do them you are an absolute savage. Huge nope from me.

 

RE: the loans and job - maybe take a look at your local/state civil service exams. I don't think they're overly expensive or difficult to pass and they're good for life. Bunch of different options in terms of career path. I was considering taking it just for the heck of it so I had a fall back plan if anything happens.

There can also be certain debt forgiveness programs based on service. I don't know a ton about it though or what the service requirements are. My sister for example works in a low-income school district and despite inept management is sticking it out for that very reason. There are also debt forgiveness plans associated with non profit work but you'd have to research it a bit more.

 

So I just wanted to relay a personal experience with you. I have 3 businesses in Florida: tent rental for parties, Christmas Trees and Fireworks. From March through May, we had zero income due to shutdown from covid.

During that time, government was giving out PPP loans for small businesses(we only received $6000). My wife,who was in marketing, completed the loan applications. Subsequently, my wife started a Facebook page offering help to people with their applications.

A person working for a large accounting firm saw her page, and offered her a contract doing phone consulting for PPP loans. It was for a large franchise. Job was expected to last 1 month at $26 per hour. She worked for 10 weeks including several weeks with time and a half overtime.

Following this position, my wife and I decided maybe it was a good time for her to float her resume out back in corporate, as self employed benefits are basically non existent.

We saw an administrator position-marketing position that she liked the look of. Well, she beat out about 100 other people for the position. $65k plus a bonus. She loves it.

Meanwhile, tent rentals picked up and we had our best year with fireworks and trees.

My main point here is, you get what you put out. If you offer to help people it eventually will come back to you. Not that we expected it.
Try to change your mindset. Maybe tutor college students in math or do some volunteer work.

Other posters stated other positive things: workout, eat as healthy as you can etc.

Your mind is a very powerful tool once you can see where you want to be. I was once a geologist, I have not been in that field in 20 years. Maybe meteorology was not for you, but it was your path.

Best of luck.

 

Who knows what the future holds? If you give up you’ll never know

Just keep trucking and think positive and remember that it could always be worse. I know it’s a cliche but there’s people out there that don’t even have the opportunity to work their way out of debt

It’s not the end of the world...Just gotta exercise, eat right, and try to keep a positive attitude

I’m gunna throw you a few bucks but ultimately it’s up to you to want to turn it around

 

Best of luck to you and I think there's something that hasn't been mentioned here that may be of help to you and that is debt counseling, particularly after you mentioned you have some high interest loans outstanding. Avoid people who are fee based and try to find a local government or non-profit based agency that does this type of thing for free. They'll look at your entire monthly budget and find ways to maximize the benefit of what you pay each month. Sometimes they'll help find a part time job to augment your income. They look at the best way to handle outstanding debt at high rates like auto loans or leases and especially credit card debt. They'll prioritize your payments to both reduce debt and improve credit scores. That often includes loan consolidation at a much more favorable rate than that which you are currently carrying.

If your credit score allows, even changing credit cards to one that will give you zero percent interest for a year and allow you to transfer balances from existing accounts can save a huge amount of interest and let your balances shrink much faster. Start with a low balance card if that's what you can get but be sure to curtail your use of the cards. Forget cash back or travel point deals when selecting a card if you have debt. There was a time when I both consolidated debt and changed credit cards and the result was I kicked myself for a while for not having taken action sooner, it also helped me out of the hole I'd gotten myself into years sooner.

 

I just donated I hope it helps. But keep your head up and be safe all of this is temporary.

 

If you are a visitor and you came across this thread, please consider donating as well. Consider this donation as a thank you to this board and the posters on this board. One of us is in need of help and we appreciate your generosity.

 

Student loan debt... it's what we have been fighting to fix. Unfortunately people in power would rather see you burn in debt than help you out. This is the result. People looking for help from other people because they are left out in the cold.
I feel you, I really hope you guys get back on your feet. This isn't how it's "supposed" to be.

and before anyone tries to @ me with BS, this is about showing you the difference between conspiracies and ACTUAL people who are actually one paycheck away from a life changing scenario. This isn't politics. It's real fuking life.

Again. really hope you get it sorted out....
kudos for asking for help and Kudos to everyone who CAN and are helping.

 

Chapter 7 and 13 are for individuals, Chapter 11 is for corporations.

 

Cancel all student debt ? That money is the savings accounts of ordinary working-class Americans. Are you willing to tell them to suffer a haircut on their savings ?

Better to refinance that debt....borrow from a family member who is getting 1% or less in savings accounts....check out Lending Club or programs like that.

The individual mentioned $160,000 in student debt. How much are they earning annually....what is the interest on that $160K.....do they have other debts (mortgage, cars, credit cards, etc.).

The problem is solveable, we just have to crunch the numbers.

 

That money is usually federally backed loans issued by financial institutions. Ordinary working-class Americans will not suffer because the government will make good on the loans. Besides the interest rate at banks is determined chiefly by the Fed rate, not by how much money the bank has in deposits. The total amount of student debt in the US is about 1.7 trillion. The next stimulus package is likely to be close to 3 trillion. In contrast, the US has spent 6.4 trillion fighting wars in the Middle East since 2001. Forgiving student loans is similar to an economic stimulus because borrowers will use the money they would have paid to a bank to pay for everyday expenses like groceries, auto repairs, home repairs, a new appliance, child care, having a meal in a restaurant, etc. These are expenses that keep the economy moving.

Speaking of student loans, @jerzejet did you know that you are not required to pay your student loans during the pandemic? The program is called "forbearance" and is due to expire on Jan. 31 but Biden said he would extend it. For now, it means that whatever payments you miss will be tacked on to the end date of your loan.

 

That's very commendable, but if I was in your situation, as you describe in your appeal, I would take advantage of not having to pay that $1200 monthly. From what I understand there is no penalty for deferring those payments.