I was laughing through your entire post, but when I got to "Mac makes a random decent pick this time as he snags a OL who used to play with Darnold or some shit" I really cracked up.
Lawrence Taylor wasn't the best guy in that draft. He was the best defensive player in football before he was drafted. I loved BB response last year when he was asked to compare Mack to Taylor. The look on his face was priceless.