It's past midnight, so it is officially Christmas Eve. Here is the 2014 edition. This is written from the perspective of Woody Johnson. Happy holidays to all the Jet fans out there. I hope Santa brings us a something to get excited about. DBJ 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through casa Woody Not a creature was stirring, not even Charley Casserly Green ball caps were strewn across the floor without care, Frustration set in, knowing Black Monday would soon be there. The scouts were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of first round defenders danced in their heads. And there I lay, once again feeling like a sap, Another losing season had fallen in my lap. When out my penthouse there arose such a humming, I sprang from my bed to see what was coming. Away to the window, I sprinted across the manor, I looked out to see a toy plane with a banner. “Fire John Idzik” is what the banner said It's just like the billboard I yesterday read. When, what to my tearing eyes should appear, But my own GM looking rather austere He turned to me and gave a little sob And I knew right away he was here to beg for his job. I held up a hand, but he started just the same, His signings and draft picks, he called them by name: "There’s Vick! There’s Johnson! There’s Colon! There’s Goodson! And Decker! And Geno! And Milliner! And Breno Up and down the roster, quite a decent haul Oh who am I kidding? I have no clue at all!” At that very moment he broke down to cry, Lamenting the rookie wide receivers he let pass by. Loaded with cap space to replenish the crew He waited and waited til the choices were few “Sustained success” he muttered the lie “The draft is our lifeline” another battle cry As he rambled and stuttered in a dull monotone His press conference all over with the same pointless drone He echoed Geno and his fable about Pro Bowl flashes And he said there’s a chance we can rise from the ashes “Just one more season is all that I ask. If I pick my own coach, I’ll be up to the task!” My eyes how they burned and I gave him a sneer, I couldn’t take it any more, I’d had it up to here! He backed up and fear had shown upon his face He was Tom Brady and I was Calvin Pace I charged and tackled him baring my teeth I was on top and he underneath He’d pushed me too far, there was fire in my belly, My GM was so scared, his bowels turned to jelly I screamed and I yelled, I lost all my grace, “What is the point of all that cap space?!?!? Why didn’t you try to give Revis a call? Instead your top corner ended up AWOL” He spoke not a word, but just went on cryin’ And then out of nowhere in walked Rex Ryan He bent over and pulled me up by the scruff and giving a nod, he said “That’s enough” He walked to the door, but paused at the brink, As he left he smiled and gave me a wink But I heard him exclaim, his glee he couldn’t conceal, "Happy Christmas to me, Rexy’s got a TV deal!"
Not sure why there are two of these threads. This one should be closed. I posted to this one by mistake.
