Midnight Service at the Revis House of Resurrection

I can't wait to see Revis come out of the tunnel on opening night.

 

I'm a little concerned Revis might not be in as good shape as I would like him to be when/if the season rolls around. If the lockout continues through training camp I'm nervous that he won't return in full form like last year after his holdout. Anyone else feel the same way or am I just being a blaspheme in Revis's holy place?

 

I know he will be ready to go.

 

1.................

 

I smell a banhammer......

 

He let himself go.

 

A Prophecy:

And on the 15th of July the earth was without football, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep.

And Revis moved upon the face of the waters.

And Revis said, "Let there be football."
And there was football.

May the Word ring true.

Praise Revis.

 

I heard the church was a little dusty when they reopened it after finding the key to the lock...

 

Only 10 days off.

Real religious prophecies wish they could be that close to right.

 

Ahhh yes but when the door was unlocked, in it was a shadowy figure emerging from the darkness.

The followers were shocked to find this man and one spoke up and said, "Sir what have you done to our Revis, to our Savior??" "Nothing", the man replied, "I've come not to harm this house of worship, but to make it stronger."

"Who are you!?" demanded a loyal believer. "My name is not important but I've come here with only one goal and that is to win."

Another worshipper shouted "But sir please, what can we call you??"

The strange man then dropped the robe that was engulfing his body in darkness, revealing a brilliant shade of white and green and simply said, "Aso."

 

A prophecy from the good book:

On the 3rd day of enlightenment, 28th, July

Lord Revis Christ will welcome his apostle Aso Ra with open arms to part-take in the mighty house of worship.

Praise Be

 

A special collection plate is being passed today to help guide our savior's disciple to his new homeland.



Praise Revis.

 

I was always Monotheistic, all praise Revis

 

May the savior bring his brethren to the promised land.

Praise be.

 

Forgive me father for I have sinned.

I apologize for doubting your greatness, as well as thinking anybody can match your almighty ability.

May you take us to the promise-land and give permission to Sir Holmes to rip this motherfucking scumbag poser of a cornerback a new asshole and shower in the tears of his offspring.

I apologize for the blasphemy my fellow worshipers.

 

There is only 1 revis. There will ONLY be 1 revis. He is ours. I dare not mention the name of the pussy who only plays 1 side of the field. Revis Christ, Praise be.

 

Forgive us for coveting false idols.......

 

Lord (Revis)....please try to forgive the mods who unstickied your place of worship. They know not what they have done and, as a follower, I trust in the good Lord, that one of yours will fully restore what rightfully belongs at the right hand of Petrozza.

Praise be to Revis.