In the WTF Ear Bleed Dept.

Discussion in 'BS Forum' started by jetophile, Jul 16, 2024.

  1. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    I never even heard of this woman, and
    I'm glad that I haven't. Now I can't hold a tune to save my life and everybody who knows me runs if I ever start singing, so who am I to fingerpoint, right? Wrong. My rendition of 'Some Enchanted Evening' has been used as a torture device and a tool of war (allegedly), which actually qualifies me to fingerpoint with every finger on both hands.



    Hahahahaha, PAIN. Where is Ashlee Simpson when you need her?

    EDIT & P.S.: Look at the player with the red bandana about 1/4 of the way through. The look on his face, hahaha. You don't want to be disrespectful, of course, because it's the National Anthem, but I wouldn't blame him if he started laughing. Keep in mind that Roseanne Barr's hatchet job was on purpose.
     
    #1 jetophile, Jul 16, 2024
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2024
  2. Ralebird

    Ralebird Well-Known Member

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    A report I saw hinted that she can't sing without something called "Auto Tune" but just saw something that she says she was drunk and is going into rehab.

    Is there a good reason this was part of the home run derby anyway?
     
  3. abyzmul

    abyzmul R.J. MacReady, 21018 Funniest Member Award Winner

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    It's probably both, but the suits will go with alcohol because you can't rehab her image if she can't actually sing.
     
  4. typeOnegative13NY

    typeOnegative13NY Well-Known Member

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    The tools available to studio musicians are amazing. I can only imagine the lack of talent in the industry without the auto tune, backing tracks for live etc.

    Saying she was drunk leaves her some room for redemption. Maybe she can take some lessons while at Betty ford
     
  5. Dierking

    Dierking Well-Known Member

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    what kind of rock star can't perform drunk?

    This younger generation is so disappointing.
     
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  6. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    Britney Spears, anyone? That's an entirely separate sad story, but she seriously can't sing.
     
  7. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    Usually drunk people can hold a tune better than usual.
     
  8. typeOnegative13NY

    typeOnegative13NY Well-Known Member

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    Great point.
     
  9. Jonathan_Vilma

    Jonathan_Vilma Well-Known Member

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    I thought this going in the direction of a different ear bleed in the past couple of days.

    She said rehab sounds super fun so that’s cool.
     
  10. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    Drunk or not, I do a better job than this singing in the shower. My dog runs for cover as he well should. Hey, at least I'm not faking the suck.

    I generally detest "Country Music". The modern appeal evades me. Trucks, dumped by a gf, guns, dead Momma, boozing, getting laid, God, lost muh job, Jesus, the Bible, it's so formulaic. It sucks! IT SUCKS! IT SUCCCCKKKKKSSS! I said it, I'm glad and I'm never taking it back. Fck you, Kenny Chesney. God awful.
     
    #10 jetophile, Jul 16, 2024
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2024
  11. Dierking

    Dierking Well-Known Member

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    We got both kinds
     
  12. Jets OG fan

    Jets OG fan Well-Known Member

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    Holy crap that was bad. It definitely sounds like she's 2 shits to the wind. I can't imagine being a successful (?) country singer and being that out of tune. It can't just be that she's use to autotune, autotune can't fix stuff that bad.
     
  13. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    I should probably clarify what I mean about "Country Music". I'm talking incarnations over the last let's say 35 years.

    It's become a useless parody of itself. Patsy Cline would've nailed the national anthem (I love Patsy Cline), and she's a shining example of what I mean. Emmylou Harris, Johnny Cash, Gram Parsons, Tammy Wynette, the list goes on and on. It's this annoying shit kicking garbage today that's just the worst. Ugh.
     
  14. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    So here's my final word on the kerfuffle. The national anthem is a notoriously difficult song to sing, so there's always that; but hammered or not, I don't think she can sing. I went down this crazy national anthem rabbit hole, and man, there are some whoppers out there, hahaha.

    I think part of the problem is that some singers just cannot resist the urge to showboat. Christina Aguilera, that was terrible. Lady Gaga played it pretty straight and it was a BILLION times better (Lady Gaga actually CAN sing).

    I think if people did just that - played it straight - there would in general be a much better result. All of the trilling shit, going high in that gimmicky way in odd places, or breathy nonsense that usually sucks, bleh.

    I highly recommend the Kat DeLuna version. Why? Because it's hilariously terrible!!! It seems that millions of other people have gone down the same national anthem rabbit hole because you're seeing Ingrid Andress's name everywhere in the comments. It is really, really funny. The Fergie one? Michael Bolton? Both also notably terrible.

    They just might want to keep it to instrumental in the future, ha. Just keep it simple. Where is John Amirante and his bad rug when you need him?
     
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  15. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    This kind of belongs (?). Talk about bad singing, this is legendary, but I'll tell you WHY it's legendary. She's a comedian and punked everyone. She kept it a secret originally. She is not mentally ill. Probably the best piece of performance art I've ever seen. God love ya, Mary Roach.

     
  16. BrowningNagle

    BrowningNagle Well-Known Member

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    I never heard of her before this rendition but holy hell was it terrible. I need one of those maxipads for my ear. She didn't even finish the sentences, very odd
     
  17. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    Get a job, bitch!
     
  18. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    Someone called her version 'The Star Strangled Banner', probably one of the funniest things I've ever read.
     
  19. Satan

    Satan Well-Known Member

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    I thought the thread title was about an event last week in penslyvania
     
  20. typeOnegative13NY

    typeOnegative13NY Well-Known Member

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    First his ear, then ours
     

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