Exactly!!! Uncles sam already knows everything there is to know about what they are doing. I'll just peek a little through
Danger years are 12 to 19 now. Kids are much more active and social media is the problem. Your kids are going to talk to a much wider range of people than you did and they're going to have a much wider range of people who can keep an eye on them via social media. Steer your kids towards the right friends and you have won half the battle. Let their friends pick them and you're losing.
that's exactly what I had heard. its interesting to think about. I don't recall that as I was going through that mess but maybe watching it from the other side will change my mind about it. I think I just want to think that its not going to be too bad for me, that I have a chance. knowing all the while that its going to suck a fat one.
I have 3 grown boys and we play golf every Friday, I have 3 best friends....by the way you'll do just fine Brook
I got off easy I guess, my youngest just turned 20 and has had the same boyfriend since freshman/sophomore year of HS, really her first and only boyfriend. Other 2, 23 and 24 and never had any real issues. Think I had to take my sons computer away for a month for bad grades in 9th grade and he set off some fireworks which happened to catch a porto-let at a construction site on fire in 10th. Not sure how a screw up like me could do so good with the kids.
I just always maintain a healthy level of fear. Theres nothing wrong with that. I still enjoy time with my daughter and she still talks to me about everything . But she also knows i dont take a lot of bullshit. To be fair we have very similar personalities so she and i are very close because we get one another. What im really saying is theres no clear cut way. Every kid is different, it what works for them. Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk
Try to avoid them having too much free unsupervised time out of the home. Get them into an activity (sports, music, dance I don't care) because that and school work will eat up time they could otherwise spend doing bad things. Watch their friend selection and decision making. I guarantee if you pay half attention to that you'll see if they're constantly making the right or wrong choices. Especially with boys don't fear x-box. There are some that will say watch the internet its full of pedophiles etc.. In reality they play xbox with their friends and talk with their friends. I'd rather they do that then be outside roaming the neighborhood looking to cause trouble. Definitely control their time on xbox but let them have fun as well. Link it with school work, if they get good grades let them play, if they don't they don't play. You will never be able to prevent them from social media. To me the best solution is let them do it but monitor it. Get their password initially (when they get older you won't get it), follow them or be friends if facebook etc. The phone is the biggest concern especially apps like snapchat. My rule is I need your phone code and I will randomly check. No code, no phone. Make them aware that "if" there is sexting or sharing of inappropriate pics going on and they save them, they're in Jared (subway) mode. The laws seem to say if you store it you're guilty so make sure they don't. You can set up key loggers etc but most don't let you know that they do a sweep (meaning if kids text then delete before the sweep you'll never see it). They don't seem worth it to me. I put blocks on their TV's to prevent them from watching anything with nudity. You can block them from going to certain sites on your computer but in all likelihood they'll just use their phone so its not as easy as it was before they all had smart phones. It's not easy but it doesn't all happen at once.
Spend as much time as you can with them, when they tell you something you don't like, don't go off the deep end, be honest and voice your displeasure, but don't blow up, otherwise they won't ever come to you for guidance, out of fear you won't listen. Listen to them and be consistent in your approach, don't be afraid to discipline them and be a parent. You are not their peer, you are their parent. Ask them opinion based questions, it reveals what they are thinking. Remind them that the garbage they see on TV is not a true representation of what an adult should behave like. Most importantly, spend as much time as you can with them. I spent every summer with my daughter, in part because of my work schedule, we have a great relationship, she does not think its weird to hang out with her parents or dad. She is developing her own life now, but she got through the gauntlet known as the teenage years just fine.
Good advice Red but unfortunately Brooklyn has decided to take a cushy job in the Netherlands and opted not to take the kids and wife with him. I've offered to check in on them--during school hours. _
I've got 18 and 20 year old boys. I always spent money on sports stuff - anything to get them unplugged and outside. Soccer, football, hockey, tennis, golf, basketball, volleyball, swimming, diving, biking, climbing, skiing, snowboarding, XC skiing, hiking, surfing, sailing, kayaking and more. They had to pay for anything tech related, except the cell phone which we needed to keep informed of their whereabouts and would threaten to turn off whenever they didn't respond. We held off on smart phones until they turned 18. I think a lot of parents make a mistake by buying their kids tech stuff for presents - it sets them up to be glued to a glowing rectangle. Sure, my kids missed out on Call of Duty and Facebook drama, but now that they have access to that crap, they really don't get too absorbed in it.
My little cousins are 13 and 9. They've had phones for ages. The 13 year old got a smart phone when he was 8 and the 9 year old got one when he was 7. It's disgusting. They are both on Facebook but I refuse to friend either of them. My aunt rationalizes it by saying all their friends do. Somehow I'm not surprised she gives into peer-pressure. I also was using their laptop a couple years ago and in the search history saw SOMEONE was looking at nude women. So I brought it up with him and told him it's normal and how to use incognito mode. I also gave my aunt a heads up and he doesn't know.
I'm soooo glad we're empty nesters! I would remember that even though your boys will be teens, they still need "Parents" more than they need "friends" so, your job isn't done by a long shot. In fact, its gonna get a lot harder as the issues will become more complicated. Just try to do your best and keep your fingers crossed.
Sports are great and for the most part keep kids out of trouble, my boys played football, baseball, hockey, basketball, golf, I coached them in every sport
