Today actually marks one year since I lost my uncle to a massive heart attack. I can't speak from experience regarding cancer but I know what it feels like to lose someone you love. I was very close with my uncle, almost like a second father. It never gets easier but it does get better. Had I known this was gonna happen, I'd have spent a lot more valuable time with him doing things we both loved so much. Because of this I encourage you to cherish these moments and make his life something incredibly special in his last days. Living life right now is tough. I'm sure it is and like I said, it doesn't get easier, but you need to both be strong for him and for yourself. You have family and friends that love you and are going through this with you. The biggest mistake I made was closing myself off to the world, shutting myself out from the people who loved me so much. Don't make that mistake. While at times it may feel like you can't continue on, just remember not only do people need you in their lives but your loved one who passed will want pure happiness for you. Everytime things get tough I think of my uncle and remember the amazing man he was and the man he would want me to be.
Exactly right. Don't be too negative until you get the diagnosis - by all means prepare for the worst but hope for the best.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation and wish both you and your father the best. I have a family member (cousin) who was recently diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer that has spread to his liver. He wasn't given a terminal diagnosis and is currently in treatment but if you look at the stats the odds aren't great. It's rough. He's young (in his 30s) and has two young kids. The biggest thing we on the sidelines struggled with was the idea that it's not fair and sort of the roller coaster of feeling hope and feeling hopeless. It sounds cliche but all you can really do is be involved, offer support and try to be positive. Struggling with the disease is hard enough without people putting you in a negative frame of mind. I hope that it's not one of the worst grades and that he has a shot at recovery. Good luck!
Knowledge can save lives. Arm yourself with everything you can find out about the specifics of the diagnosis and help him choose the best therapies. Be especially vigilant in searching out medical trials, usually conducted at major medical centers. Phase three trials are quite likely to later be approved for use and it's certainly better to discover a trial going on now than to find out three or four years from now that he could have been part of one. Phase one and two trials are earlier in the approval process and are where lack of efficacy is most often filtered out. Good luck!
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Keep in mind that the time you're spending right now with your Dad is more important than anything else.
I'm so Sorry. I wish there was something I could do for you. Stay strong, I am praying for the best for you and your dad.
Barry, my mom died of cancer back in '87 and without a doubt, it was perhaps the toughest period of my entire life. She was at home almost until the end and I watched this once iron lady just deteriorate right before my eyes. I was ill equiped to deal with it and eventually joined the military just to start over. Best thing I ever did. I'm not gonna say I know what you're feeling right now. The best way to deal with the pain is to accept it, find the good in the situation if you can, and concentrate on that. It will pass man. Trust me. It will never entirely go away either. Just one more thing you'll learn to live with. My thoughts and prayers... C
It's been a while since I posted in this thread but here goes, in the last week things which seemed to be ok (not great by any means) have gotten terminally bad. My dad is now in hospice care and has maybe hours to days to live. I am on my way home from Taiwan on Tuesday morning to be there and I am just praying he makes it until I can see him. There is no coming back for him as the cancer is everywhere and at this point it's just waiting for a phone call. If I can make it back to Vegas in time it'll only be because of prayers and my father's strength to hold on for me. I talked to him Wednesday not ever thinking that would be the last time I would ever hear his voice. I could barely understand him and I wish I would have stayed on the phone with him longer. Initially after the surgery he was doing good until about April and he was in Florida visiting his brother and he fell. Then when he got to Vegas he fell again. The doctors said it was because of a mix up and they were giving him steroids and they should have stopped. He was never the same after that. He had a PT scan in June and they said the progress was good. Then he started doing the chemo and that didn't really seem to do much. I saw him in July and even though he told me he was ok I knew in my heart he wasn't and against my better judgment I flew back to Asia thinking I would see him in November. I booked a ticket to come home in November and not come back and he was really happy and excited. Then on Monday I got the call that he wasn't doing so well and I should think about coming home in a few weeks so I started making preparations to do that but on Thursday I got the call that he only had days to live. My father and I didn't always have the best relationship but as I became an adult and got into my mid 20's things got better. Now in my late 30's he's been such a big supporter of mine and would do anything to make me happy. I just can't believe this is real.....
Be strong. My Dad had triple bypass and when recovering said it was the best he had felt in years. A year later he was diagnosed with lymphoma. Went thru all the treatments, chemo etc. I grew up in a time when men didn't say "I love you" to their Dad, you just knew it to be true. Whenever I had time I made the trip back home, I was in NH and Mom and Dad were in NY. Giving my Dad a light hug, which was excruciatingly painful to him and telling him that I loved him helped my brain more than I would have thought. Stay strong.
Sorry to hear that Barry. Just make sure you're helping him get his final affairs and wishes in order as once he's gone, confusion will reign unless everything is on paper. Get all of his paperwork in order as best you can and although this maybe uncomfortable for you, start making final preperations according to what your Dad would have wanted. Stay strong.
Barry So sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you. As a person who lost both his mom and dad in a 2 year span, I totally understand you. Stay strong and please let me know if there is anything I can do. You have my cell but I will send it again just in case.
Sorry to hear this Barry...I hope your father stays strong for you and your family till you make it home.
We lost my mother in law to breast cancer 2 years ago this past April. I feel your pain brother, may GOD bless you your dad & your family
Sorry to hear this. My uncle (and one of the main reasons I'm still a JETS fan) died of cancer after a long battle and of my best friends both lost their father's to pancreatic cancer. It hurts, be strong and best of luck. Hopefully he hangs on to say goodbye. The human spirit is a powerful thing.
Barry, first off im so sorry about this situation, and im not sure if you want to hear this but i grow medicinal marijuana out here in southern cal and i am seeing with my own eyes some truly remarkable and almost miraculous things going on with the hemp oil that is made from my and many others left over leaves, i have plenty of links and can private message some stuff to you if you are interested. i know the laws are different out your way but it doesnt change the fact that some people are rebounding from so many different types of cancer and other illnesses as well. i would love nothing more than to help. let me know sir, and press on regardless. hope is not always lost. *also- very important, if you can get alkaline ionized water, get it by all means and have him drink it. its all i put in my body. its a known fact that cancer does not do well in an alkaline THC environment. but the cancer industry doesnt want people to know that. its a great way to do preventative work as well if you dont have cancer with a drop of oil a day and drinking alkaline water to go with it, no more bottled water or sodas, etc. its just too acidic, the more alkaline the better!
Sorry to hear about this situation, Barry. I lost my father in December to pancreatic cancer, we discovered he had it a little over a year ago and it took less than 4 months to kill him. It didn't really register with me until after he was gone, although I was able to see him at the end. That may be the worst part for me, second guessing everything I said to him while I thought there was some chance he would pull through, instead of what I would have said knowing my time with him would be so short in the end.
