UPDATED Is it true? Couples spend $30,000 on average planning their big day–but new research shows the more you spend, the shorter your marriage will be. You’ve planned the bachelor and bachelorette parties, the rehearsal dinner and the day-after brunch. There’s the photo booth, which is a definite necessity these days. And what couple doesn’t have a website designed to share with the world the first time they laid eyes on each other? The sane person will certainly agree with sociologist and sexologist Dr. Pepper Schwartz when she says, “The whole thing has gotten way out of hand.” The whole thing being the never-ending list of costly accompaniments that now come along with planning a wedding. Yet until Emory University economics professors Andrew Francis and Hugo Mialon decided to organize a study last year, no one had paused to question whether this out-of-control spending was having an effect on, well, the actual marriage. Spoiler alert: it does. And it’s not a positive one. Francis and Mialon surveyed more than 3,000 people–all of whom have been married just once–and found that across income levels, the more you dish out on the big day the shorter your marriage will be. Now, that’s a raw deal. A few takeaways from their research: Guys, dropping $2,000 to $4,000 on an engagement ring means you’re 1.3 times more likely to get divorced compared with the more frugal fellows who only allocate $500 to $2,000. For both sexes, spending more than $20,000 on the wedding ups the odds of divorce by 3.5 times compared with couples who keep it between $5,000 and $10,000. For the best odds, though, keep the festivities to less than $1,000. According to wedding media company XO Group, the average wedding budget has soared to an all-time high of almost $30,000–and that’s not including the honeymoon. And, 1 in 8 couples spend more than $40,000 on their nuptuals. The wedding industry generates $55 billion a year, research firm IBISWorld calculates. Costs soar as couples increasingly want to demonstrate their commitment with cash. “Advertising has fueled the norm that spending large amounts on the engagement ring and wedding is an indication of commitment or is helpful for a marriage to be successful,” the researchers wrote in an email. Francis and Mialon say one possible explanation for their findings is that post-wedding debt can stoke marital tensions. But, as Schwartz is quick to point out, correlation is not the same as causation. She says part of the problem may be that “the wedding has become the highlight rather than the beginning of something.” After almost three decades of planning weddings, Kim Horn, whom bridal geeks might recognize from her cameos on the WE network’s My Fair Wedding, agrees. “The focus is not on the relationship and the long-term commitment,” Horn says. Since the 1980s, when Horn first started her career, she feels the industry has become much more hyped. Between bridal magazines and reality TV shows, couples are inundated with advertising, so she says it’s not surprising that average spending has doubled in the last 30 years. But there’s still hope if you have your heart set on throwing a huge bash for your wedding day. It may seem contradictory, but while excessive nuptial spending is a hazard to lasting love, a hefty guest list has the opposite effect. So instead of opting for a smaller wedding to save money, simply spend less per person. Rather than renting a photo booth, pick up a couple Polaroid cameras. Or save the $1,000 a DJ charges and try this novel idea: make your own playlist. http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/spending-less-wedding-save-marriage/
So the less you spend the better off you are? I am good to go then all it cost me was the $10 for the notary and what ever the county filing fee was, maybe $30.
Makes perfect sense to me. Any broad that goes seriously all in on the wedding-industrial complex isn't anyone I'd want to spend the rest of my life with.
Actually, while the above are very ominous concerns if you spread it out nationally most couples cant afford such extravaganza. So the divorce rate is still 50% upon taking the plunge whether you found a ring at the bottom of Cracker Jack or you went to Tiffanys. Whether you said I Do with Elvis in Vegas, at the Ritz Carlton or the local VFW Post.
You're much better off spending the cash on the honeymoon. Start the marriage off right with an common experience to be cherished. Rings can be pawned, memories can't. Besides, if your woman is that hung up on the price of a diamond, you're marrying the wrong woman in the first place and yeah, you're doomed to be divorced and broke cause she'll take the dick, balls and bank account with her out the door to the next cat she's bangin.
Well this is true in my case. I married right after college when I was 23 years old and my wife was my college sweatheart. We didn't have any money and I didn't buy her any ring either. The day we got married we walked into government agency to sign our marriage papers. And since we didn't have money for real, I took my wife to McDonalds as our wedding meal. Now though, I feel jelous of folks who has a wedding ceremony.
Don't... I've been married three times. The first time in a church, the second in City Hall Brooklyn NY, the last in my living room. Guess which marriage lasted the longest and provided the most memories on wedding day? Yep, the living room wedding! We got married, danced, then took a picture or two. Then I changed clothes, fired up the grill and got the party started. Had to run my guest out of the house because they didn't wanna leave. It was great! No honeymoon since we were both dead tired and had to go back to work that monday! (We did get around to it a few years later) 15 years later, I'm still with the woman I married in our living room. We still have the same rings too and most importantly, we still talk of our wedding day/BBQ cookout and can laugh about it. Moral of the story: The important thing is to marry the right woman. The "wheres" really doesn't matter much if its within reason. Vegas, a Ocean Cruise, baseball game or even your living room!!!
His wife took the kids, the car and the crib In this man's world, so much for women's lib -Grandmaster Flash.
Great story Grandpa. You are exactly right. Finding the right woman is the key. Rest is just peanuts. Well we are talking about 2001 and we are talking about my home country, Turkey. In 2001, McDonald's was only a few years old in Turkey and it was an OK place to eat your lunch or dinner. It's reputation wasn't as low as it is in USA.
I bought my wife the fattest, nicest rock I could afford. She told me she would have accepted a cracker jack ring but I wanted to get her the nicest one I could afford. And I call BS on the cracker jack ring. We're very happily married with no financial worries atm (knock on wood).
I'm getting married this fall...I got my fiance her ring 2 years ago when we got engaged. Yea it was very pricey, based on the article divorce is right around the corner lol. My girl likes to window shop alot and can tell quality. I never bought her expensive jewlery until then. This ring is not fat, or heavy...I spent it for the quality, the thing is crystal clear and blings out. I did my research and she was very happy with what she got. With diamonds, bigger is not always better. Been with her 7 years now...I know like NotSatoshi if I got her a cubic zirconia ring she would have still said yes. I made sure of that, which is why I proposed 5 years after dating.
Enough to know that the price I paid for the ring has absolutely no impact on the quality of our marriage.
