Song Help

Your first post on a football forum is asking for a song critique?

Dude, you can't really think this was the best place to ask for this kind of advice.

 

Needs more tits.

 

Yeah, this song is lacking big titties in a major way.

 

Says on your Youtube your name is Dylan Tweed...I say good sir,

Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee
Resolved to have a battle,
For Tweedle-dum said Tweedle-dee
Had spoiled his nice new rattle.
Just then flew by a monstrous crow,
As big as a tar barrel,
Which frightened both the heroes so,
They quite forgot their quarrel.

Now...

 

You should hire a new singer. But other than that, fantastic.

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Music good. But your voice not so great. You are playing guitar very well imo.

 

Man that is harsh.

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You should definitely check out a music forum for this stuff if its a off a quick feedback thing...A Jets football forum, 1st post isn't exactly the best way to do this. We are all for the most part a bunch of miserable Jets fans too.

Now if a regular poster above came here say like abyzmal for example came around saying "Hey guys, I want some feedback on my new Russian reggae single." I'd go oh shit, that's pretty interesting, would like to see what this is about.

 

This thread has potential.
Don't disappoint me tgg

 

You're no Philly Stacks or Billy Barcs, but you have some talent. Keep at it.

 

I made you a music video.

 

Needs more tits.

 

SS, I thought the video director really captured the political and social undertones of the song in a sensitive yet not cloying manner.

Seriously though, bully for you to take it in the spirit in which you did.

As far as the song goes, first off, no problem posting it here - it's in the correct section (BS, misc.) so no harm. That said, a few polite suggestions: give it a little more shape and structure. Try practicing with a metronome so as to clean up the chord changes (fingering) and as for the lyrics, does the listener know what this song's about? Listening to some of the lines, I'm not sure if it was a first person rueful self-examination, or pointing the finger at some party babe that's flitted off to other pastures, or ("ready to die today…tomorrow's another day") about buying the proverbial farm. (wink)

As for the fellow inmates giving your pipes the razz, hey look at Leonard Cohen …… the guy's a legend in some circles and one who makes Lou Reed by comparison sound like Jeff Buckley. Be true to yourself, stay with it and good luck stoneman.

 

And more tits.

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That tits shit goes with da classier stuff, like um…Mozart

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/femail/video-1127547/Model-Sara-X-twerks-boobs-Mozart.html

 

You can also get Bruce Dickenson to help out, he is a great music producer.

 

This is awesome joe.

Sent the link to my friends already.