Mock Draft, Browns get Cutler.

The major trade: Jay Cutler and Tony Scheffler are pals; they leave together for Cleveland. Shaun Rogers and Eric Mangini are not; Rogers and Brady Quinn leave for Denver. The Browns throw in a third round pick, but Denver gives the Browns a fifth round pick in 2010 that could escalate to a third depending on the performance of Quinn.

I think this works for both teams. Mangini replaces Winslow with Scheffler, gets his franchise quarterback in Cutler, rids himself of the uncertain Quinn and removes the disgruntled Rogers.

McDaniels quashes the Cutler situation, acquires a quarterback familiar with his system (Quinn is a Weis protege, as is McDaniels) and picks up a dominant NT (not in my eyes, personally, but whatever) to start his 3-4 defense.

So...

#1 Detroit Lions Matthew Stafford
Stafford sits for a year while Dante Culpepper muddles about.

#2 St. Louis Rams Jason Smith
The Rams are psyched; Detroit picked the wrong player. Because they're the Detroit Lions.

#3 Kansas City Chiefs Aaron Curry
The Chiefs pick the best player in the draft.

#4 Seattle Seahawks Eugene Monroe
Pretty self-explanatory, the Hawks fill a need.

#5 Cleveland Browns B.J. Raji
The Browns replace the departed Rogers with a much more competent, competitive NT.

#6 Cincinnati Bengals Brian Orakpo
The Bengals plead for a pass rush.

#7 Oakland Raiders Michael Oher
Radio City Music Hall falls deathly quiet. Boomer is speechless. Mel Kiper is not. Somewhere, Al Davis, drunk with madness, screams at the television set, "Don't fucking tell me what I'm gonna do, Kiper! I could buy and sell you a hundred times by Sunday! Just win, baby! Just win, baby... Just win, ba..." Al Davis dies of an aneurysm.

#8 Jacksonville Jaguars Michael Crabtree
The little errand boy who brings the cards to Goodell doesn't even pick up the ringing phone. He just writes down the name and hands it in.

#9 Tampa Bay Buccaneers (trade with Green Bay Packers) Mark Sanchez
The Bucs trade their first round pick, fourth round pick and 2010 first round pick to beat the Niners to Sanchez.

#10 San Francisco 49ers Everette Brown
"Why did they think we were going to draft a QB?" asks Mike Singletary.

#11 Buffalo Bills Brandon Pettigrew
A major reach here by the Buffalo Bills. But since Dick Jauron's job rests in the unstable hands of Trent Edwards, he wants to give him every weapon possible.

#12 Denver Broncos Tyson Jackson
McDaniels was actually plotting the same reach as the Bills, but instead makes a mistake of his own by drafting Jackson to play 3-4 DE.

#13 Washington Redskins William Beatty
Self-explanatory. Smith? No, he drops. See "Branch, Alan."

#14 New Orleans Saints Vontae Davis
The Saints finally get a professional in the secondary.

#15 Houston Texans Malcolm Jenkins
...As do the Texans.

#16 Chicago Bears (trade with San Diego Chargers) Jeremy Maclin
The Bears needed to leapfrog the Jets to secure Maclin. Cost them a fifth round pick.

#17 New York Jets Knowshon Moreno
The Jets draft a Jet fan. (I'm still not AGAINST Beanie, but yeah, Knowshon is Knasty).

#18 San Diego Chargers Jarron Gilbert
The Chargers reach, as is their wont. Unlike the aptly named "Buster," this time they aren't disappointed.

#19 Green Bay Packers Aaron Maybin
The Packers are stunned to find the man they targeted at 9 still available ten picks later.

#20 Detroit Lions Eben Britton
Yep, Smith gets passed over again.

#21 Philadelphia Eagles Andre Smith
Bitch tits were never a major concern of Andy Reid's.

#22 Minnesota Vikings Percy Harvin
Imagine Adrian Peterson's effectiveness with a Reggie Bush-type lined up in the slot.

#23 New England Patriots Rey Maualuga
Maualuga and Mayo. Shit.

#24 Atlanta Falcons Jared Cook
The Falcons would prefer Pettigrew, but Matt Ryan needs another weapon.

#25 Miami Dolphins Kenny Britt
A perfect compliment to Ted Ginn's downfield threat.

#26 Baltimore Ravens Hakeem Nicks
2008 was Derrick Mason's last good year.

#27 Indianapolis Colts Peria Jerry
Polian would have gone WR here if Nicks were still available, but that run D needs too much support to reach here for a wide out.

#28 Philadelphia Eagles Beanie Wells
Seems like he'd be a nice smash mouth compliment to Brian Westbrook.

#29 New York Giants Brian Cushing
Fills a need and probably the BPA.

#30 Tennessee Titans DJ Moore
I was tempted to put Donald Brown here, but I pussied out.

#31 Arizona Cardinals Donald Brown
Steal of the first round.

#32 Pittsburgh Steelers Alex Mack
Big Ben needs a little protection.

So that's my first round. No Ayers, Johnson, Matthews or Freeman just yet. Here's the rest of my Jets draft:

Round 2: Ziggy Hood
Round 3: Herman Johnson
Round 4: Ramses Barden
Round 6: DeAngelo Smith
Round 7: Jorvorskie "MuthaFuckin'" Lane

 

Personally, I think Derek Anderson is not a solid quarterback. His spectacular 2007 was due entirely to great line play from Thomas, Steinbach and the others, as well as acrobatic catches on poorly thrown balls by Edwards and Winslow. The Browns aren't sold on DA; neither am I.

And Mangini is not sold on Quinn. So the fact of the matter is, you're Eric Mangini, you just built a pretty impressive Jets team in three years but you just got fired because you had a big question mark those three years at quarterback.

So what's your first move? Solidify the quarterback position. Fuck "open competition," Mangini is going to learn from his mistake.

That's the motivation behind the Browns/Broncos trade.