Merr F-Ing Christmas

Merry F-Ing Christmas

I freaking hate the Dolphins. I hate Don Shula and Dan Marino, Garo Yepremian, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, the Killer B?s, Zach Thomas, the uniform, the perfect season. I hate Blockbuster video you know why. I hate Slim fast because without Slim Fast Dan Marino and Don Shula are two fat ex jocks with no life instead of two ex jocks with no life. I hate Nick at Night because they re-run Flipper and Flipper reminds me of the Dolphins. I hate the late Sunday afternoon football game because after 3 hours of Sunday football if I see another commercial for the F 150, drinkability and wrinkled couples sitting in empty bathtubs in a pine forest either right before or right after the moment I might rip my eyeballs out of my head.

I know come Monday if we don?t win this game GG is going to be filled with threads. I told you so threads and even worse I told you so threads about how great Chad Pennington is. There will be fingers pointed and polls taken. There will be posters we haven?t seen in years called Chadforlife, I heart Chad, Chad To Jerald Sowell, all coming out of the woodwork with the biggest I TOLD YOU SO TUDE ever.

It will be Chad-Fest 08. I will make me wish for wrinkled bodies sitting in empty bath tubs in the back of an F 150, parked in a pine forest, sucking on light beer that?s about as drinkable as colonoscopy prep, waiting for the right moment, playing over and over on my 42? HDTV like a rerun of Ground Hog day.

Had we actually won last week we could have won the division and we might have knocked both the Chad lead Dolphins and the Belicheck lead Pats from the playoffs. There is only one team I hate more than the Dolphins and that?s the Pats. This game could have played out as the perfect storm the Jets fan Trifecta. Its Jedi meets the Dark Side, joy and vengeance, our life and their death all rolled up in one neat package.

Alas (whatever that means) we didn?t take care of business. Instead of the metaphorical all in ?Suicide Pact? we all pretty much feel like committing suicide.

Without calling NASA to figure out all the NFL lotto odds like tie breakers we now face that put our chances of getting the letter from the Commissioner inviting us to the Tournament, the prize for playing the games with the object of winning the games at 50 million to one, we still have to hope we at least beat the Fins and knock them from the playoffs.

At least if we beat the fins we get to make the I TOLD YOU SO THREADS! Unfortunately if it?s not coupled with a Patriot loss or a Ravens loss we won?t know what the I Told You So was telling but that?s just a technicality.

This Sunday is do and die but what?s a little more death to real Jets fans. This team has been slowly killing us for 40 years one cut at a time. What could be more fitting than to play our best game of the season, knock the Dolphins from the playoffs and go into the off season with dreams of what could have been if only we had beaten Oakland, San Francisco or Seattle?

See you in the game thread on Sunday. Merry F-Ing Christmas Everyone and to all a good night.