BALTIMORE—Economists expressed shock this week as the value of the U.S. dollar plunged by more than 98 percent after Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco signed the NFL’s richest contract. Flacco, who was ranked 19th in the NFL for completion percentage during the 2012 season, received a six-year, $120.6 million deal, abruptly triggering the most catastrophic collapse of U.S. currency in American history. “Unfortunately, the discouraging reports that Joe Flacco is now the highest-paid player in the NFL have had a devastating impact on U.S. exchange rates,” said chairman of the Federal Reserve Ben Bernanke, chastising the Ravens for the disastrous and irresponsible financial mistake that severely crippled the purchasing power of the dollar. “It was an ill-advised and reckless move to pay that much money to a quarterback who has never been selected to a Pro Bowl.” “The Baltimore Ravens have single-handedly made the dollar worthless,” added Bernanke. The Federal Reserve confirmed the value of the dollar was pummeled by Flacco’s $29 million signing bonus, which alone made the U.S. currency less valuable than the Indonesian rupiah and the Tanzanian shilling. In addition, global anxiety over specific details of the agreement, which included $52 million in guaranteed money for a quarterback who threw fewer touchdowns in 2012 than Josh Freeman, Andy Dalton, and Tony Romo, has thrown world markets into chaos. The deal, which pays Flacco $62 million in the first three years, has already significantly increased the price of imports, caused astronomical inflation, and prompted panicked foreign governments to frantically move their currency reserves away from the U.S. dollar. “It’s heartbreaking that one horribly misguided decision by the Ravens resulted in the decimation of 401(k) accounts, stocks, bonds, and pension funds for millions of hardworking Americans,” said White House economist Alan Krueger. “I still can’t believe they risked the financial well-being of so many people by paying Flacco more than Drew Brees.” “Flacco just chucks every ball up for grabs and lucks out whenever his receivers catch one of his shitty throws,” added Krueger. “No wonder my pack of gum cost $850 yesterday.” With the dollar significantly weakened and valued at almost nothing, NFL general managers reportedly feared that the unprecedented decline in U.S. currency could have major consequences on free agency and contract extensions for players who are more talented, athletic, and consistent than Joe Flacco. At press time, the Green Bay Packers were reportedly finalizing a six-year, $989 trillion deal with quarterback Aaron Rodgers. http://www.theonion.com/articles/value-of-us-dollar-plummets-after-joe-flacco-signs,31571/
5 to 1 it's the same people writing for them that were there in 2007 when they were the hottest thing around. Writers jump the shark about as predictably as TV shows do and for the same reason: when you've been writing from the same angle for a long period of time you get stale. A site like The Onion or a show like SNL should be absolutely pushing people out the door after 3 years. It's the only way to stay fresh.
I've been making uniformly sparkling and witty remarks on this board for going on 7 years and I'm still fresh.
kidding aside put up a 10 year chart of USD and the trajectory isnt pretty. IMO the dollar is headed for the 40's over time.
well off the top of my head what i did say was..... the high would be around SP1500 to 1560.....not sure what i exactly wrote but whatver the US was/is teetering on another recession - as measured in GDP, durable good, etc etc we would be up in january and shortly after - and fade (sell) the rally as 2013 will be tough. the payroll tax bump, persistent gas prices, and overall net increase in many other taxes/fees - not just ur neighborhood income tax rates - are going to squeez the consumer regardless of their tax bracket. IMO - this is the biggest problem this country will face - there will be a lag effect but the cumulative weight is gonna be a major problem. now if u want to interpret that as BO wrecking the market - OK - but its not quite that linear a relationship. so we'll see - a broken clock is right 2x/day of course and come hell or high water the white house will do everything in their power to prevent a US recession from appearing on obamas list of accomplishments.
US GDP is probably closer to 2.5 to 3% right now and accelerating. Housing is recovering and there are signs that we have temporarily taped out on labor efficiency a sure sign that employment and wages are going to start moving up. My guess is the Fed will continue to keep monetary policy nice and easy as long as fiscal policy continues to be tight. I also believe we will get a compromise deal at some point that will give corporations the ability to do some long term planning. A net positive for employment and wages. You could be right but I think you have this completely backwards. The economy is improving the dollar is strong relatively and wages and employment are going to recover.
