Given that all pre-server apocalypse posts are gone, I have decided to repost my “centennial” posts. Since I wrote them all originally in Word, with the exception of a few edits, I should be able to repost them in their original form. I guess if I have a tgg.com identity, it is pretty much defined by these posts. So, for that reason, I’ll get them back on the system (no need to reply.....I just want them back on the server before I get to post 1,000....which I am getting dangerously close to and have no ideas). I’ll space them out a little so there isn’t a DbJ spam-a-thon on the front page. Originally Posted Jan 18, 2006 Hey Jet fans. The posts have been fast and furious in this busy offseason. I’ve made quick work of the 700s and am now on post 800, This idea is a little ‘out there’, but I like trying new things. I suspect that people won’t like it as much as some of the others, but if I don’t mix it up a little, I am gonna get bored (and so will everyone else reading these posts). So, without further ado, I give you a meeting of two worlds….the New Your Jets and pop culture phenomenon “American Idol” in: “New York Jets Idol” Welcome to “New York Jets Idol”, the phenomenon that is sweeping the NFL. I’m your host Ryan Semenquest. Today our judges will be evaluating the performance of Jets management, coaches and players and deciding if they will be returning with the team to Hofstra. Our first contestant is Woody Johnson, team owner. - Randy – Yo dog. Where you been? You’re supposed to be the owner of this team and you are barely even seen. You’re talkng like you want to be Bob Kraft, but you just don’t have the chops dude. I’m gonna have to say ‘no’. - Paula – Randy, I don’t know what you are talking about. I mean look at him. He is a handsome distinguished older gentleman, who has boatloads of cash….I say ‘yes’. - Simon – I don’t know….You look like the newsman from “WKRP in Cincinnati”….but I see some potential in you. We haven’t seen much out of you yet, but I think if you’re given some time, you could be a success….but lose the glasses. I’ll say ‘yes’…congratulations, you’re going to Hofsta. Wow, one-for-one…next up GM, Terry Bradway. - Randy - I’m not feeling you, dog. I think you reached too much in the draft and the contracts you’ve awarded….I mean come on, dude. Not good…not good at all. ‘No’ for me. - Paula – I know you tried real hard. I’m sorry. ‘No’. - Simon – You may be the worst GM I’ve ever seen. You don’t take accountability. You hire your buddies. And you have no media skills. Horrible, just horrible. It’s a ‘no’. Off you go. Geez…pretty harsh. Hopefully our next contestant will fare better, Assistant GM and capologist, Mike Tannenbaum. - Randy – That was hot dude. I like what you are doing here. I gotta say ‘yes’ - Paula – Since I’m too dumb to understand the salary cap, I’m gonna have to say ‘no’. - Simon – This is a tough one. The cap is a mess, but I don’t think that is your fault. I also think you are a little devious and are pulling some strings behind the scene….that is a plus. I’ll say ‘yes’…you’re going to Hofstra. Next up, 2005 Head coach Herman Edwards. - Randy – Dude….chickens? Kool-aid? The bus? Dog, you gotta take a look in the mirror and think about what you want to do. That was bad dude….really bad. ‘no’. - Paula – Don’t listen to him Herm….listen to you heart. I loved it. Everything you said makes perfect sense to me. A definite ‘yes’! - Simon – Yeah, well that figures. Herm….that was bloody awful…I had no idea what you were talking about. I mean for God’s sake….’flustrated’? What is that? And the whole game management issue….Rich Kotite looks like Vince Lombardi compared to you. Even now, you’ve got a dumbfounded look on your face. Pathetic…truly pathetic. Definite ‘no’. Off to Kansas City with you. Tough break Herm. In an interesting twist, we have new Head Coach, Eric Mangini up next. - Randy – How you feelin’ dude? That was good, that was real good. I think you got it goin’ on dog. Definate ‘yes’. - Paula - Young, smart and worked for the two Bills….’Yes’! - Simon – I’m not sure what to make of you. You look like a 250 lb cherub….but you do have some great mentors….you’re through to Hofstra. Wow, new coach in town, so I wonder how the QB situation is gonna turn out. Let’s find out with Chad Pennington. - Randy - Look dog….I like your spirit, but I don’t know if you got what it takes. Man…tough decision here. I think you deserve one more chance. I’ll say ‘yes’. - Paula – Your accent is so cute, I have to say ‘yes’. - Simon – Well, you have a wet noodle for an arm and you can’t say healthy. I would have said, ‘no’, but since Randy and Paula said ‘yes’, you’re through to the next season. Ryan – Injuries and all, Chad’s gonna stick. OK….now to the heart and soul of the offense…Curtis Martin. - Randy – Curtis….Curtis…..this is a tough one dog. You know you’re my boy. I love you and all, but I just think it is time call it a career, man. Sorry, dude…it’s a ‘no’. - Paula – (Crying uncontrollably) I can’t believe you said that. Curtis, you are special and you’ll always be special. Don’t listen to anyone else….my answer will always be ‘yes’. - Simon – Curtis, if this were 1998, I would have no doubts, but it is 2006. I’m sorry, but you are just too old to be a productive back in this league. I’m sorry, but it is a ‘no’. Wow…everyone is stunned at this move. Curtis gone. Let’s see how the defense fares with Defensive End, John Abraham. - Randy – I love you when you’re on the field dog, but I don’t know….you just can’t seem to stay healthy. I know you played a full season this year, but I’m just not feelin’ it. I gotta say. ‘no’. - Paula – Ooooo, Tall, dark and muscular….definite “yes”. - Simon – Look, here’s the thing…you’re a one-trick-pony. Can you rush the passer…yes. But you don’t play the run well enough. You are a very good player, but you just aren’t everything this team needs you to be. That is it for you…it’s a ‘no’. Another big surprise! Speaking of big, how about Defensive Tackle, Dwayne Robertson. - Randy – Dog, how many cheeseburgers you been eatin’? You look like me before my gastric bypass surgery. Dude, you better lose some weight or you’ll be flippin’ those burgers instead of eatin’ ‘em. I’ll give you a ‘yes’ but you better show me something. - Paula (not available to comment…..she is busy making out with John Abraham in the corner). - Simon – What really disappoints me about you is how high you were drafted and not living up to that potential. You need to be a dominant performer on the inside and you aren’t. Since you are getting a new head coach, I think you deserve one last chance, but you had better perform next season. You’re going back to Hofstra. Well, so D-Rob returns. Well that’s it for tonight’s edition of “New York Jets Idol”. Stayed tuned for “24”. On tonight’s episode, time is running out on the Jets and they have no time outs left. It’s up to Jack Bauer to prevent Herm Edwards from sending in a draw play on a 3rd and 12. Semenquest out! DbJ
It's the second time around....so I don't care too much. Plenty of people saw it last time....but THANKS!
