Ask Mrs. championjets69 Advice Column

Discussion in 'BS Forum' started by jetophile, Apr 10, 2018.

  1. joe

    joe Well-Known Member

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    Just curious, what's your cup size?

    (asking for a friend)

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  2. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    An A! As in A+! Did you graduate? Probably an F-! I bet you wear a jock strap stuffed in your jeans to try to show off and parade around the ladies! It's one size fits all, you loser! No-one is fooled! Get a life!

    Signed,
    -Mrs. championjets69 :mad:
     
  3. joe

    joe Well-Known Member

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  4. Noam

    Noam Well-Known Member

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    Dear Mrs. Championship69:

    What's the point of coming to the BS forum now that we have lost our Russian Dunces?

    Are the Russians and Putin behind closing these threads?

    Do you think the Russians have hacked these forums or do you think Petro is a commie spy who is using this website to launder money to destroy democracy and America?
     
    #84 Noam, Apr 19, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2018
  5. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    What kind of question is that! I wish the late great Senator Joe McCarthy was still alive! God knows he'd blacklist your Commie ass in a New York minute like you deserve and bury you under the jail! They should've hung you with the Rosenbergs! What's on your reading list! Something by your buddy, Chairman Mao, that's what! Runner up, 'Mein Kampf'! The feds will be raiding your apartment with a warrant in a couple of hours - because I dimed! YOU DUNCE!

    Signed,
    -Mrs. championjets69 :mad:
     
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  6. Noam

    Noam Well-Known Member

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    What about Petro? Is he indeed a commie spy who is using this website to launder money and spy on the American football watching public in a dastardly attempt to destroy America, Freedom and Democracy?
     
  7. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    No! It was a covert operation to nail you, you traitor idiot! The Jets destroyed America, Freedom, and Democracy all by themselves! That's why being a fan is like like Orwell's dystopian masterpiece '1984'! The Ministry of Love, alright! Speaking of '1984', slowly I turned step by step, inch by inch! What a crap season! It's the year the Jets moved to The Old Dump! And look at us now! Look how snazzy! We're in The New Dump in the same crap parking lot 10 feet away! And it's a shared venue that cost $1.6 billion! For what! It's as pleasing to the eye as a viewing room in a funeral home staring at a dead relative and about as cozy as a surgical suite! $1.6 billion dollars, NASA can send a probe to Mars and back with that money! Think about it! Space or The New Dump! I pick space! I changed my mind! Being a Jets fan is more like Sartre's 'NO EXIT'! Thanks for giving Sonny Werblin kickbacks from Khrushchev, you Red freak! And good luck trying to flee the country! Knock, knock! Who's there! Handcuffs!

    Signed,
    -Mrs. championjets69 :mad:
     
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  8. Noam

    Noam Well-Known Member

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    Part of that was almost poetic. You are really good at this. Nicely done!

    When they come by are they bringing pizza or should I prepare snacks?
     
  9. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    They are not bringing pizza, you idiot! They are bringing a S.W.A.T. team! No need to prepare snacks, You-Stay-At-Home-Dad-Domestic-Nancy! Just offer them that nasty Dasani water! That water is treated by reverse osmosis in a sewage plant! How appetizing! Don't you read the news! Then take a bottle of that nasty water and pour it all over yourself to cool off because you'll be sweating bullets! And you should take some bullets for being stupid!

    Signed,
    -Mrs. championjets69 :mad:
     
  10. Noam

    Noam Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for the heads up:

    Please ask them to bring Vegan Pizza. Lots of it if they are bringing a team. I was hoping we could pick teams once they arrived but that's ok it might be more fun playing boardgames against an experienced team. Do you have any idea what boardgame they would prefer to play? Only thing is I would appreciate it if they took their shoes off as I just vacuumed.
     
  11. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    Monopoly! Because you're not getting out of jail free! Vacuumed! I'm sure there's enough cat hair in that place for you to make some weird fetish puppet named Mr. Kitty! Why can't people just be normal!

    Signed,
    -Mrs. championjets69 :mad:
     
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  12. coloradojet

    coloradojet Active Member

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    Is there any truth to the rumor that the old Giants stadium was built on a toxic dump? Some sports writers were saying that and that that is why Doug Kotar and Dan Lloyd got cancer? Also, any truth to the rumor that Jimmy Hoffa was buried under the Giants stadium and that that is why he was never found?
     
  13. Brook!

    Brook! Soft Admin...2018 Friendliest Member Award Winner

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    Lol Noam. I know you are joking but let me tell something about Petro. He is a Trump supporter. I am a Muslim who hates Trump. Guess what. He didn't even think twice before making me a mod. And I disagreed with Petro a few times due to Trump before I was a mod. He is a great person and knows how to rise above politics when it comes to this board and Jets. I will defend Petro to death even if we are on 100% on opposing sides of the political spectrum. :)
     
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  14. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    All I know is that our GM Dick Steinberg died of stomach cancer and we all know why! Who wouldn't get stomach cancer with this team, you idiot! Jimmy Hoffa! He's probably clinking glasses with Judge Crater in Tammany Hall!

    Signed,
    -Mrs. championjets69 :mad:
     
  15. coloradojet

    coloradojet Active Member

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    You sure need a strong stomach to be a Jets fan. I just went over the four AFC championships games the Jets lost, The first one, Don Shula broke the rules by not covering the field during a very heavy rain and that took away the speed of Wesley Walker and quick cuts of Freeman McNeil from the Jets. On top of that Richard Todd had the worst game of his career that day.

    The second championship game, the Jets turned the ball over seven times. Keith Byars only fumbled twice after 13 years but then he fumbles inside the five with the Jets already in the lead. The third game the jets lose a corner back to an injury after they had the lead and that is all Peyton needed. You know that injury could have happened to the Colts but no it had to happen to the Jets.

    The fourth championship game Eric Smith barely touches the receiver after the ball sails about five feet over his head and gets called for a personal foul when it would have been fourth down. The Steelers go on to to score a TD instead. Then Sanchez gets hit hard while he was already on the ground on third down but no penalty was called. The pick six that he threw was clearly an incomplete pass because his wrist was moving forward.
    late
    Good thing Gastineau hit Kosar late after he threw the incomplete pass on fourth down or else the Jets would have lost another championship game in the same fashion.
     
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  16. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    Thanks for making my piles bleed - and I'm out of Preparation H! And the drug store isn't open yet! The drug store! bet you work in a drug store and steal all the painkillers! That's your contribution to society! Masked crusader getting drugs off the streets and out of circulation! What a hero - in an armed robbery balaclava! Painkillers! That reminds me! I should prank Rush Limbaugh!

    Signed,
    -Mrs. championjets69 :mad:
     
  17. CBG

    CBG Well-Known Member

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    I ask this question for many on this board so here goes--------> when the Jets make their selection on Thursday night and its NONE of the QBs that we are all speculating on and its either a CB or some other position at #3 do we reach for the Kettle One or the Tanguray , both, or should we just go straight for the Scotch ?
     
  18. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    Neither! Your usual! Night Train! Because that's as classy as you're ever gonna get! Make sure you drink it out of brown paper bag like always, and then go rant and cuss on the street-corner! Who in your house wants to hear that! Have the decency to annoy innocent bystanders, not your family who puts up with you for who knows why! No manners! Who raised you! Then because your standards are so high, go to a dive bar after and drink Ripple with Fred Sanford! Watch some more of the draft! Pick a fight! Get beaten to within an inch of your life, get dumped in the street by the bouncer like you deserve! You earned it for being a fan of this stupid team in the first place! Cheers and Bottom's Up, you idiot!

    Signed,
    -Mrs. championshipjets69 :mad:
     
  19. CBG

    CBG Well-Known Member

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    I thank You for your time ps I happen to luv Shampipple just sayin
     
  20. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    It's a combination of Ripple and Champagne! And it's Champipple! You forgot how to spell because you're already half in the bag! And no puns on Champipple being close to my last name! No matter! For you, Champipple is the breakfast of champions! Pun addressed! Go to secretarial school and take a typing class! Apparently ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, is the new :mad::mad::mad: :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:!

    Signed,
    -Mrs. championjets69 :mad:
     
    #100 jetophile, Apr 21, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2018

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