Ask Mrs. championjets69 Advice Column

Discussion in 'BS Forum' started by jetophile, Apr 10, 2018.

  1. TommyJ

    TommyJ Well-Known Member

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    what are the winning lotto numbers for tonight? please private message them to me i don't like sharing.
     
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  2. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    I said advice, not psychic powers, you numb skull! Call that fraud Sylvia Browne, you know, the one who was always wrong about murders on Montel Williams and couldn't even predict her own death! Or get them from a Chinese Fortune Cookie! God knows you eat enough take out! And you wonder why you look like a slob!

    Signed,
    -Mrs. championjets69 :mad:
     
  3. CotcheryFan

    CotcheryFan 2018 ROTY Poster Award Winner

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    Will the Jets become the Cubs of the NFL and go 108 years between championships?
     
  4. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    Cubs! The next thing I know you'll be asking me about the Chicago Bears! Cubs! What do I know about wildlife! I grew up in Flushing, you idiot! And baseball is terrible! Watching badminton is a million a times better, enlarge your pea sized brain and give it a whirl! You can watch it on the Curling Channel! Baseball, excruciating, like my sciatica! Baseball! No wonder you have an enlarged prostate at such a young age! The only thing the Jets will ever win is a one way ticket to Palookaville! All aboard!

    Signed,
    -Mrs. championjets69 :mad:
     
  5. TommyJ

    TommyJ Well-Known Member

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    Ok i'll just win this thing without you and forego the tidy sum of cha chinga that i was gonna toss your way for your troubles, ummmm, you got Sylvia's number or email? thankyou!
     
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  6. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    It's ca ching ca ching! And you're from NY?! Miss Cleo is also still available! Not! Try that other ridiculous fraud, Theresa Caputo! All she does is cold read/hot read people! Or James Van Praggh and John Edward! They are as full of crap as a bag of manure! I've exposed them on other sites!

    Caputo! She was CAUGHT using a MIRROR (video long since removed), and says vague things like, "He just wants to rest in peace, he just wants you to leave the murder alone (as to who did it)". I can do that with my fukking foot! The reason they won't give you lottery numbers is because 'it doesn't work that way'! Right, because no-one can do it! How it works is exploiting vulnerable desperate people who want to talk to the dead. I'm totally down and cool with ancestor worship across all cultures full throttle. It is awesome in nature and makes comforting sense on most days, but these people are predators. It's actually a rather serious subject, but if people choose to be duped, that's their right. People want to ban assault rifles, but not these assholes!

    "Sensitivity" is real, believe me there, there's things that I've experienced that I'll never be able to explain and Strega is in my blood; but I could go on the psychic fraud trail forever. Harry Houdini is my hero. He debunked people like crazy. Houdini had a weird obsession with his mother, but sorry all, there's a very good chance there is no life after death. James Randi, one of my favorites, everyone who took the Million Dollar Challenge failed, and those who said they'd do it, bailed. Why? FAIL. Uri Geller, lol. No, Randi didn't predict the stuff about his lover. Why? Because he's not a psychic, and never claimed to be.

    Sylvia's number is 800-255-LIAR!

    Paul Zenon is the best. Watch Leigh Catherine squirm. But yeah, Leigh Catherine accepted the challenge . . . drum roll . . . and backed out because she didn't want to lower herself to try to prove herself. Sylvia Browne also accepted the challenge and bailed. What a surprise! Caputo wouldn't even deign to go near it. I do think that some 'psychics' believe they believe it, but, c'mon now. Is there someone in the audience, I'm feeling the initial J! Jesus Christ, at least try harder to fake it. And when you see them get it all wrong, they edit it out.



    So uncomfortable! What was this about again! I have to take my stool softener! Penn & Teller Bullshit had a fun episode on psychics years ago! But for real, James Randi is brutal, haha. You should watch the James Van Praggh crap fails! And watch John Edward stumble all over himself!

    Signed,
    -Sort of Mrs. championjets69, because sort of serious :mad:

    EDIT & P.S.: There a ton of videos of psychic losers! Helps me with my constipation!
     
    #66 jetophile, Apr 13, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2018
  7. TwoHeadedMonster

    TwoHeadedMonster Well-Known Member

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    Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10 and hot dog buns come in packages of 8?
     
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  8. xxedge72x

    xxedge72x 2018 Gang Green QB Guru Award Winner

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    That one always left me flummoxed.
     
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  9. FJF

    FJF 2018 MVP Joe Namath Award Winner

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    Follow the money
     
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  10. CBG

    CBG Well-Known Member

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    The yellow tie or the red one ?
     
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  11. RPOZ51

    RPOZ51 Well-Known Member

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    For people who are cutting back on carbs?

    If you buy 4 packages of hot dogs, and 5 packages of buns, you're all set.
     
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  12. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    I don't know how to do Math! All I know is the Jets went 3-11 three years in a row because witches danced naked around a walnut tree in Benevento in the 1300s!

    Signed,
    -Mrs. championjetsjets69 :mad:
     
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  13. RPOZ51

    RPOZ51 Well-Known Member

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    . . . and legend has it that Joe Namath sold his soul to the devil.
     
  14. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    Yellow means you're happy! Red spells danger! You're probably a sunny serial killer! From where I'm sitting, good luck getting laid!

    Signed,
    -Mrs. championjets69 :mad:
     
    #74 jetophile, Apr 15, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2018
  15. TommyJ

    TommyJ Well-Known Member

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  16. Dierking

    Dierking Well-Known Member

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    How come fat, out of shape slobs don't post pics of the themselves at Coachella?
     
  17. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    Because that fruit Justin Bieber goes there and they don't want to embarrass themselves! He also has a giraffe neck and tattoos and he's not from the hood! It cancels out the fat part! Who wants to be seen with that, you idiot!

    Signed,
    -Mrs. championjets69 :mad:
     
  18. NotSatoshiNakamoto

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    I pulled 50% of my 401K to invest in crypto alt-coins. Can you recommend some choices for maximum growth and also a good divorce attorney?
     
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  19. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    Crypto-alt coins, what does that mean! Something about putting coins on the eyelids of dead people to pay some jackass to cross the River Styx? Bad decision to not collect all of your pennies that you can't stand in a jar like everyone else! Money is still money! Pour them down that newfangled machine in the bank and walk out with 20 bucks, you idiot! And call Leslie Abramson! You should be in a cell next to Lyle Menendez!

    Signed,
    -Mrs.championjets69 :mad:
     
  20. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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    I missed this one! Didn't have my dollar store reading glasses on! It's because the government wants us to try to learn algebra, you idiot! And then you got chased by a donkey named Algebra, because this is no place for you!

    Signed,
    -Mrs. championjets69 :mad:
     
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