[BeastBeach]

Obviously there is too much background to post all of it here. But I will give a little bit of necessary info.

I'm 25, always had a pretty good relationship with my dad. As I've gotten older his personality has started to grind on me but for the most part I overlook his flaws for the sake of trying to keep him in my life.

This past Saturday he was straight blowing me up via text. Like seriously throughout the day he sent me at least 50 texts. And a lot of it is stupid stuff that I really don't know how to respond to. He does that kind of thing from time to time. I'll go a week without hearing from him and then one day he is "up my ass" non-stop. Nonetheless, out of being respectful I usually at least gave an "lol" back or something like that.

By around 8pm I had gotten sick of texting back so I just put my phone on silent and went on with my night.

Sunday I slept in till about 11. I checked my phone and he had left me a voicemail. I didn't check it because I usually try to get some shit done before the games start at 1. He called me again at about 12:30 and left another voicemail.

At this point I started to get pissed off because I think you should let somebody call you back. You don't keep calling/leaving voicemails unless it is an emergency.

About 15 minutes later, he shows up at my house and knocks on my door. I ignored it. Another knock, even louder. I ignored it. At that point he starts going around my house knocking on the windows. My fiancee sleeps during the day so at that point, enough was enough.

I opened the door, went out and said, "What the fuck is wrong with you?!?" and proceeded to tell him he was acting crazy and he needs to stop acting erratic and just let me get back to him.

He claimed he was worried about me and was checking in on me because I hadn't responded. I told him that was ridiculous. He left after a short discussion.

I called back the next day and told him I was sorry for going off on him but I didn't like what he did and I wanted to have a discussion about it. He said he was upset at me for "being disrespectful" and blah blah blah about how one day I would understand.

Truth is, I think he was full of shit. I think he just wanted to talk to me so bad about whatever it was that was on his mind, he didn't care whether it was a good time for me or not. And then once I got pissed he tried to act like he was worried.

Obviously I know him better than any of you, but do you think I was out of line?

Cliffs
-Dad texted me/called me nonstop
-I ignored him from about 8pm Saturday night to 1 Sunday
-Dad shows up knocking on doors and windows
-I blow up on him
-Dad claims I was out of line

[Barry the Baptist]

Sounds like my dad... he can be somewhat a pain in the ass when it comes to me not getting back to him but at the end of the day you should be man enough to tell him you are busy and get back to him when you are not busy and leave it at that. It never would have or should have gotten to the point where he came to your house. He had a right to be concerned but I absolutely get what your saying as far as being annoying... I deal with that shit too.

[Br4dw4y5ux]

Yep, he's your dad. They're not all crazy in the same way but they're all a little bit crazy when it comes to their sons.

[joe]

Go ask your mother...

;-)

[devilonthetownhallroof]

You were a dickhead.

[The Dark Knight]

How can you ignore someone who is calling you non-stop? Just answer the phone or text and say: "Hey, I am tired. I'll talk to you when I am up to it." Don't ignore your father. Then he comes to your door and you don't answer even though you hear him? You sound like the crazy one to me and yes, out of line. Also, he is texting you 50+ times and you keep responding with "lol" non-stop then randomly stop responding, that would cause any parent to worry!

[Brooklyn]

Originally Posted by devilonthetownhallroof

You were a dickhead.

I wouldn't go that far but I have to side with his dad.

Listen dude. I hate to give life advice beacuse I hate taking them. But being a father makes you crazy. I am 34 soon to be 35. I have kids of my own that are first grader twins. I remember many times going into their room when they were asleep and listening to their breaths to make sure they were breathing. Just last night I set my alarm at 3:30 am to go check their room temperature and to make sure they still had their blankets on.

It is different when you are a parent. You go above and beyond to make sure your kids are OK. So please cut your dad a slack.

[BeastBeach]

Originally Posted by Barry the Baptist

Sounds like my dad... he can be somewhat a pain in the ass when it comes to me not getting back to him but at the end of the day you should be man enough to tell him you are busy and get back to him when you are not busy and leave it at that. It never would have or should have gotten to the point where he came to your house. He had a right to be concerned but I absolutely get what your saying as far as being annoying... I deal with that shit too.

I know in hindsight I should have just texted him. On the other hand, he is TERRIBLE at picking up on hints. Like I guess my thing is that in trying to be nice I don't always tell him the real 100% truth. Which would be that I don't want to hang out with him or something. I could list reasons for that but it would be an all day job.

One of the voicemails when I checked it later was that he wanted to watch the game with me. That just pissed me off more because last year we already had an argument about that. He used to come over every Sunday for the Phins game.

The difference is that I really want to watch the game, and he wants to "watch the game". Meaning he wants to gab nonstop about everything but football. He would get my dog riled up when I was trying to watch the game. He would do the same with my fiancee's children. It was like having an extra kid there.

After several times of politely telling him that I was trying to concentrate on the game, and him continuing not to respect my wishes, we had a blowup about that. I told him we could talk about stuff any other day of the week but during the game I wanna watch the game. So it was very irritating for him to want to watch the game with me like the whole thing never happened.

Originally Posted by devilonthetownhallroof

You were a dickhead.

lol that's it?

[typeOnegative13NY]

when you have kids,you will understand. There is nothing like a parent worried about their kid. Maybe he wasw worried,maybe he just wanted to talk to you. Think about how one day you will wish you could talk to him.

[BeastBeach]

Originally Posted by The Dark Knight

How can you ignore someone who is calling you non-stop? Just answer the phone or text and say: "Hey, I am tired. I'll talk to you when I am up to it." Don't ignore your father. Then he comes to your door and you don't answer even though you hear him? You sound like the crazy one to me and yes, out of line. Also, he is texting you 50+ times and you keep responding with "lol" non-stop then randomly stop responding, that would cause any parent to worry!

You're right. Like I said in hindsight I should have texted him. I didn't wanna call him because he rambles and when I try to get off the phone with him he literally ignores me and keeps talking.

As for the texting, no bs it is stuff like him texting me song lyrics and I am supposed to text back the song title. After awhile, I really don't know what to say. Am I supposed to say "dad this is retarded"? LOL

Originally Posted by Brooklyn

I wouldn't go that far but I have to side with his dad.

Listen dude. I hate to give life advice beacuse I hate taking them. But being a father makes you crazy. I am 34 soon to be 35. I have kids of my own that are first grader twins. I remember many times going into their room when they were asleep and listening to their breaths to make sure they were breathing. Just last night I set my alarm at 3:30 am to go check their room temperature and to make sure they still had their blankets on.

It is different when you are a parent. You go above and beyond to make sure your kids are OK. So please cut your dad a slack.

I mean I def see that side of it. I am a step-parent, but I figure at 25 he should just let me be. Plus like I said I question whether his concern was genuine.

[BeastBeach]

I feel like maybe I should have given more background because it is hard to convey the real situation.

An example of something he has done here lately is that he bugged me all week long about getting together. We finally made plans to go out to eat on a friday. He texts me friday that change of plans he went to see his girfriend about 90 miles from here. So it is like he wants to see me when he gets bored but if something better comes up then I get bailed on when he is the one who wanted to get together in the first place.

Stuff like that is why I question his concern being genuine.

[Hobbes3259]

Originally Posted by BeastBeach

Obviously there is too much background to post all of it here. But I will give a little bit of necessary info.

I'm 25, always had a pretty good relationship with my dad. As I've gotten older his personality has started to grind on me but for the most part I overlook his flaws for the sake of trying to keep him in my life.

This past Saturday he was straight blowing me up via text. Like seriously throughout the day he sent me at least 50 texts. And a lot of it is stupid stuff that I really don't know how to respond to. He does that kind of thing from time to time. I'll go a week without hearing from him and then one day he is "up my ass" non-stop. Nonetheless, out of being respectful I usually at least gave an "lol" back or something like that.

By around 8pm I had gotten sick of texting back so I just put my phone on silent and went on with my night.

Sunday I slept in till about 11. I checked my phone and he had left me a voicemail. I didn't check it because I usually try to get some shit done before the games start at 1. He called me again at about 12:30 and left another voicemail.

At this point I started to get pissed off because I think you should let somebody call you back. You don't keep calling/leaving voicemails unless it is an emergency.

About 15 minutes later, he shows up at my house and knocks on my door. I ignored it. Another knock, even louder. I ignored it. At that point he starts going around my house knocking on the windows. My fiancee sleeps during the day so at that point, enough was enough.

I opened the door, went out and said, "What the fuck is wrong with you?!?" and proceeded to tell him he was acting crazy and he needs to stop acting erratic and just let me get back to him.

He claimed he was worried about me and was checking in on me because I hadn't responded. I told him that was ridiculous. He left after a short discussion.

I called back the next day and told him I was sorry for going off on him but I didn't like what he did and I wanted to have a discussion about it. He said he was upset at me for "being disrespectful" and blah blah blah about how one day I would understand.

Truth is, I think he was full of shit. I think he just wanted to talk to me so bad about whatever it was that was on his mind, he didn't care whether it was a good time for me or not. And then once I got pissed he tried to act like he was worried.

Obviously I know him better than any of you, but do you think I was out of line?

Cliffs
-Dad texted me/called me nonstop
-I ignored him from about 8pm Saturday night to 1 Sunday
-Dad shows up knocking on doors and windows
-I blow up on him
-Dad claims I was out of line

Dude, we have our differences...but this what it looks like...your dad is out of line, unless there is a reason to be so wrapped around the axle over you not responding.

But...having lost my own dad fairly recently....he wiped your ass...get any baggage on the table, get it over with...and have some life together.

My mom had an aneurysm about a year before my dad got cancer, and he was living here because they flew her to a nearby hospital.

Our relationship had soured years prior.....much like in your story. One night, I got loose...laid years worth of baggage on the table.

And the next morning, he was as right as rain, and at least for the last year of his life....I had my Dad back.

If you did something, say so..lif he did tell him so...then just ask if both of you can man up.
You never know when it will be too late.
You don't want that.

[Hobbes3259]

Originally Posted by BeastBeach

I feel like maybe I should have given more background because it is hard to convey the real situation.

An example of something he has done here lately is that he bugged me all week long about getting together. We finally made plans to go out to eat on a friday. He texts me friday that change of plans he went to see his girfriend about 90 miles from here. So it is like he wants to see me when he gets bored but if something better comes up then I get bailed on when he is the one who wanted to get together in the first place.

Stuff like that is why I question his concern being genuine.

See above.

[Barry the Baptist]

Originally Posted by Brooklyn

I wouldn't go that far but I have to side with his dad.

Listen dude. I hate to give life advice beacuse I hate taking them. But being a father makes you crazy. I am 34 soon to be 35. I have kids of my own that are first grader twins. I remember many times going into their room when they were asleep and listening to their breaths to make sure they were breathing. Just last night I set my alarm at 3:30 am to go check their room temperature and to make sure they still had their blankets on.

It is different when you are a parent. You go above and beyond to make sure your kids are OK. So please cut your dad a slack.

Excellent post, you just don't understand it unless you are a parent. Especially in light of recent events. I hug my son a little tighter and want to spend even more time hanging with him and he's only 5.

[GQMartin]

Haven't talked to my mother for 1.5 months.


Her and my girlfriend (of 5 years) were planning my 30th BD surprise party.

In those phone conversations my mother asked my girlfriend if I ever hit her.

My gf responded "NO! He's not like that. I've never ever been worried about that".

My mom said something like: "we'll good. He's got the gene. Just watch out".


I found about this a month or so after it happened after my gf reluctantly told me.


I was/am enraged. What type of poison pill bullshit is this?

I am, still awaiting an apology.

[Br4dw4y5ux]

Originally Posted by GQMartin

I haven't talked to my mother for about 1.5 months for basically the same shit.


I'll get phone call after phone call after phone call after phone call. Then when I actually see the 75 missed calls I'm preparing for the worst then I call back and the TV wont turn on and it's my fault.

But basically she had a conversation with my gf about planning my 30th surprise party and in that conversation she said something to my gf which I haven't forgiven her for.

I called her out on it and she vehemently denied it saying my gf was a liar and she was not welcome to come to her house again. But what my gf quoted to me what was said it was exactly the type of thing my mother would say.

Then I later found out through a family friend that my mother did admit to saying the bullshit but she has yet to apologize.

Until I get an apology I am standing firm.

Fuck it.

You can't stand firm in quicksand.

[GQMartin]

I edited my post with details

[BeastBeach]

Originally Posted by Hobbes3259

Dude, we have our differences...but this what it looks like...your dad is out of line, unless there is a reason to be so wrapped around the axle over you not responding.

But...having lost my own dad fairly recently....he wiped your ass...get any baggage on the table, get it over with...and have some life together.

My mom had an aneurysm about a year before my dad got cancer, and he was living here because they flew her to a nearby hospital.

Our relationship had soured years prior.....much like in your story. One night, I got loose...laid years worth of baggage on the table.

And the next morning, he was as right as rain, and at least for the last year of his life....I had my Dad back.

If you did something, say so..lif he did tell him so...then just ask if both of you can man up.
You never know when it will be too late.
You don't want that.

Ha thanks for responding.

I mean really that is good advice. And maybe I do need to get a little drunk to say completely what is on my mind.

Unfortunately one of the hard things is that I feel he is phony. As in, in the moment he will seem sincere but it is kind of an act. I think the way he perceives himself is very far off from who he actually is.

For that reason, I don't think counseling would work, if he would even go for that. I'm definitely willing. I just think he would put on a show for the counselor.

[BeastBeach]

Originally Posted by GQMartin

Haven't talked to my mother for 1.5 months.


Her and my girlfriend (of 5 years) were planning my 30th BD surprise party.

In those phone conversations my mother asked my girlfriend if I ever hit her.

My gf responded "NO! He's not like that. I've never ever been worried about that".

My mom said something like: "we'll good. He's got the gene. Just watch out".


I found about this a month or so after it happened after my gf reluctantly told me.


I was/am enraged. What type of poison pill bullshit is this?

I am, still awaiting an apology.

On a beach trip this past summer my mother actually slammed my hand in a door acting like a complete psycho.

I was like you, standing firm. Eventually she came around and I had to be the bigger man and forgive her even though she never full on apologized.

[Bellows1]

It sounds like your dad is lonely and wants to spend time with you. Mom is out of the picture, gf is far away...

Your father will always be there for you...whether you want it or not, until one day when he's not, then you may understand how unimportant a football game is.

My advice, dvr the game and spend time with your dad while you can.